


where to call home

by deadwelshkings



Category: Throne of Glass Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, Author Is Sleep Deprived, F/F, F/M, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Father-Daughter Relationship, Female!Aedion, Female!Aedion Ashryver, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, The Author Regrets Nothing, but that's okay, maybe a little bit of my own projected trauma, ngl the author hasn't read the books in eons, no beta we die like men, only read the last book to see how Gavriel and Aedion's relationship ended up, so this is pure wish fulfillment, we can deal
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:21:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 37,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24429415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deadwelshkings/pseuds/deadwelshkings
Summary: Aedia, at age fourteen, manages to escape to the Iverni tribe after the fall of Orynth. With the city she had called home turned to ashes and the country she had come to love overtaken by invaders, Aedia mananges to call the tribe of female warriors, whom she had admired since arriving in Terrrasen, her new family. Training for ten years to get her revenge, everything she had recovered slips from her fingers when she is imprisoned for leading a failed rebellion. Things only worsen, however, when she learns of the severity of the threat they all face from her newly rediscovered cousin after being rescued - and that’s not to mention having to deal with a new family member. Her father.Also, taken some slight inspiration from ohnotoomanyfandoms' post on Tumblr, linked here: https://ohnotoomanyfandoms.tumblr.com/post/155245910064
Relationships: Aedion Ashryver & Gavriel, Aedion Ashryver/Lysandra, Aelin Ashryver Galathynius | Celaena Sardothien/Rowan Whitethorn
Comments: 19
Kudos: 21





	1. a lone star

To some, the day could be described as fair. The sun beat down upon the city of Rifthold from its mid-day position in the azure plain of sky; merchants were making money, fishermen were hauling in catches and princes made merry in their castles. Just as banners and flags were raised, as trumpets rang through the air to announce the oncoming celebrations, the scum of the earth continued to poison the rotten core of Adarlan further. A light, salty wind blew in from the bay and across the city, through alleyways and squalid passages, past thieves robbing good folk of their purses and coin. None were comforted with its cold, back-handed slap of blind indifference. Suffering may have been inevitable in such a place, but what was worse yet than inevitable suffering, was the profound knowledge of its near arrival and the mortal inability to prevent it from doing so.

None could do as little about it as the warrior who sat in a cell, deep below the glittering, glass castle that loomed over the decaying city. Bereft of her armour and weapons, severed from her sister warriors, she did not so much as look like a dishevelled and helpless maiden as she felt like it. The drastic loss of her uniform had led to a drastic loss of self. There was nothing in the tiny cell, with its harsh three stone walls and grated metal barrier, that could distract her of the fact.

The fact that she was worthless. A failure.

What she could focus on, however, was the consistent, dreadful feeling of loneliness. Whatever stinging pain radiated through her side from her wound was nothing in comparison to the lead weight of her heart, overwrought with remorse. How could she have failed so miserably? What was it all for, all her anguish, to only have ended up in this dank cell, in the heart of the country she despised? There was nothing to console her anguish, nothing to do but let it swallow her wholly and raw.

* * *

Slowly opening her eyes to a, regretfully, new day, Aedia thought she might break from the sudden movement. She knew not how much time had passed, having let herself waste away for days and days with no end in sight. It was certain now that she was dying. If not from the blasted wound in her side, which her captors had blatantly left to fester since her defeat at the Battle of Cærwent, then her inconsolable grief would surely best her soon.

Perhaps she ought to have thought of a way to appeal to the king, and if not him, then his council or a member of it at least. _When you are staring into the face of the tiger, however,_ she thought, _it does not do well to reason with it_. Which would therefore leave the only option of a fight. She was too weary to fight. There was no point now, not after losing everything.

Nonetheless, the thought persisted. It did so relentlessly as the guards whispered of growing threats from faceless rebels, as rumours circulated the watchmen that one of their own was a traitor. What was discussed the most however, was the prince’s new plaything. Its name was Scorsha – a nobody of nothing profound. Nonetheless, the maid had somehow caught the attention of the Dorian Hallivard; he had apparently been smitten, given how often he ‘privately’ sneaked a visit to her. Just as everyone else who had tread too closely to the Ardalanian throne, however, she had perished in the most abhorrent way.

Aedia groaned as she glanced over the gruel she had been left the day before. The warrior would rather starve than eat anything given to her by some Adarlan-born low-level guard; this was not out of some misguided paranoia but rather her repugnancy towards them which she guarded closely in her heart. It was the only defence against soul-crushing injuries she had left.

Lapsing back into her fitful demi-sleep, her head lolled against the furthest stone wall from her cell’s door. Despite having spent months in the darkened, isolated room, its cool surface was somehow refreshing in contrast to the dusty ground that was strewn with rotten hay. Her fingers ran across the rough surface of the wall, findings holds in the dips and crevices of its worn stone. Blue eyes caught on barely-there-names, names that must have been carved by fingernail alone for prisoners were not given the luxury of eating utensils. Unless of course, Aedia ponders, they had somehow gotten a hold of nail or other such item. Her thoughts wandered to the possibility of her getting a hold of something sharp, to weighing up the pros and cons between the possibilities of either marking her name on the impermeable stone as others had done before her, or to use it in injuring a guard and successfully bringing about a merciful end to the misery her life had become. A rapping of metal on metal tore her from her morose thoughts.

Aedia flinched as she caught the sight of black eyes boring into her soul on the other side of the metal bars. Blinking as she maintained eye contact with whatever entity stood before her, Aedia wished she could shrink away into a deeper and darker hole than the one she was in. The warrior wondered how long it had been standing there, the familiar unease settling into her stomach as she was reacquainted with the familiar feeling of an unwanted gaze. Then, the prince spoke- no- the prince’s lips moved as he became a mouthpiece for the _thing_ inside of him. “Get her cleaned up,” it ordered, before slinking away back into the shadows from where it had emerged.

Out of nowhere, the usual two guards of her sector of the prison hauled her up. Aedia successfully delivered one punch to the man on the left’s face and was greeted in kind by the guard on her right; it was enough to wrench a wicked bout of laughter from her chest as she was dragged harshly, honestly following the prince for the first time in her life.

* * *

Today was the day she was going to die. The knowledge filled her to the bone, weighing down her extremities as she sat waiting for the guards to collect her and take her to her expiry. As she lay there, staring up at what she assumed was the ceiling – the cell was too dark to tell and the gushing in of rainwater from time to time suggested that it was either open or had a leak – Aedia felt as if she were sinking into the depths of Hellas’ realm. Whatever awaited her… it was better than sitting, rotting, in this cell.

So when the guards came to take her, when they gripped her arms and clasped her in chains, when their heavy footfalls reverberated through the corridors and halls that led to the celebration where her execution would take place, she felt unbound. A calm acceptance washed through her while her mind glazed over as she witnessed the glorious festivity that ran free in the pandemonium of the king’s hall. Perhaps she could have done more, perhaps she could have done better, but all thoughts of what has passed and what could have been and what has yet to come faded away before the irrevocable truth: this was the end and that was okay.

Aedia’s knees struck hard with the wooden platform where she would take her final breaths. A man began to talk. Her ears, however, received his words like those that are spoken underwater, muffled and incomprehensible. There was nothing _comprehensible_ about this situation. Why the wicked always triumph over the good, she would never know. Nor would she ever conciliate herself with the fact that the good must do bad to triumph over the wicked, and in doing so become wicked themselves.

Her philosophical ramblings were cut short when an ensemble of dancers entered the centre floor to entertain her witnesses. While she watched them, something in the dancer’s unity cruelly stuck with her; their ability to act as one amongst their pairs, like twin flames, reminded her of her own loneliness. A bout of sick moroseness overtook her suddenly, pulling her into a momentary pit of despair. Despite how well she got along with the few people she had come to love in her short lifetime, Aedia was always ripped so unexpectedly and maliciously from them, or them from her. Perhaps this was another miracle in the tragedy of her death… no longer was she was a lone star in amongst a sky full of others’ constellations.

And yet, while these errant thoughts ran wild through her mind, one woman amongst the dancers called to her very soul. The beacon to this plea were a pair of brightest blue eyes ringed with gold. Perhaps today was not her day after all.

* * *

Aedia tried to take a moment to breathe in the confined cubby of the carriage. She couldn’t believe it yet – not about narrowly escaping death, she was all too familiar with that pleasant experience. What had stolen away all normal functions from her was the fact that Aelin was _alive_. Not only was her long lost cousin alive, but she had managed to save her somehow – had bothered to come back for Aedia. _For Aedia_. Her dearest cousin had risked it all, had coated herself in the blood of guards and nobles alike to break Aedia free from that hell hole. The thought pulled at her heartstrings.

_For Aedia._

The events were still replaying in her mind: the shadow casted by the dancers, her emancipation from her chains, their hectic running out of the hall and who knows how many flights of stairs, twisting corridors and secret doorways, into the palace gardens and out into the greater expanse of the city. They still had the carriage ride to whatever safe haven her cousin had managed to find; Aedia knew not to count her chicken’s before they hatched but this – this was worth it. Whatever happiness she could find in these few moments she would take wholeheartedly.

Shock still numbed her to the core, her disbelief of reality, that she was in some sort of dreamscape, clinging to her too dearly, when they transferred carriages. Another female was in this one, and from what Aedia could see through her hazy eyes, a pretty one too. What was more prominent than that however, was the female’s stern demeanour – a quiet determination of feminine grace the warrior had seen in a great many women she admired and loved. There was no misunderstanding why her cousin had chosen this woman as her confidant in – what Aedia assumed was one of many – illegal endeavours.

Aelin pushed the warrior down into another hidden compartment, along with one more, hopefully final, promise of it almost being over. The ruse of their halt came to close as the shouting resided and the street returned to normalcy. The carriage once more took up its drive and ambled along the uneven street, sending Aedia to bounce and jostle in her confined space of the cubby.

Rifthold appeared to be carrying on as normal; markets in full swing and all the hustle and bustle of a capital roaring around her. Attempting to even out her breathing once more, Aedia’s fingernails broke flesh as she gripped her own hands so tightly, focusing on anything and everything to prevent her mind from sticking to the fact that she was trapped in a box. A box all too much like a coffin. “It’ll be okay,” Aelin spoke above her, “we’re almost there now.”

Aedia cursed herself mentally – what would they think of her? A renowned warrior panicking in the middle of this crisis? Shaking herself, she began to count her breaths once more and switched all her attention to the gentle rocking of the carriage and the soft plodding of the horses’ hooves whilst they moved along.

Her peace was eventually broken by the abrupt halting of the carriage, causing Aedia to jolt her head against the wooden panel above her. She would have hissed at the pain had she the energy. Instead, beams of light shone down on her, the first she could fully appreciate in months, through the golden haze of her cousin’s awfully dyed hair. Perhaps it was the delirium, but Aedia believed that she saw wisps of gold and rusted orange and yellow ochre filter through the air, swirling around her as she was pulled from the cubby to an upright position. The scent of her cousin, coupled with the welcoming earthy odours of the dirty street and the deep woodsy aroma of the carriage were bafflingly comforting to the female warrior.

Dragging footsteps, propped up by her smaller cousin, led Aedia to a warehouse. Her final struggle was an uphill battle of stairs, rickety with the sea salt air of Rifthold’s bay, before coming to a homely apartment. One that was doused in the scent of Aelin, her queen. Before she could take note of anything else however, Aedia succumbed to unconsciousness as a single breathy whisper passed her lips. “Thank you, Aelin.”


	2. devils walking in the moonlight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aedia wakes up. Her and her cousin discuss their pasts. There are a lot of tears - but some laughter too! And some things are left unsaid... 👀

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a reminder that this is a canon divergence AU where Gavriel was the one to greet Aelin in Wendlyn, not Rowan. Both Rowan and Gavriel managed to escape Maeve in Doranelle however and are now Aelin's blood bound warriors - because we love some awesome fae bro action. 😌🙌🏻
> 
> Update 29/07/2020:  
> I've only edited this chapter slightly as there were some details (minor really) that I thought were missing and also a few typos which were really bugging me 😅 Feel free to reread or not, if you want to!! I won't matter whether you do or don't in terms of the later story as the edit is purely superficial. ❤️

Salty wind grazed across her left cheek, a chill brushing up her side as she grumbled awake. Aedia cracked her eyes open – quite literally. Rubbing away the sleep in her eyes with a sluggish hand, she stopped at the person – the _woman_ – in the chair next to her bed. Swallowing tightly, the tension in the room palpable and her own broken heart aching all so readily in favour of its usual steady beat, Aedia positioned herself upright against the pillows despite her body’s protests. She settled herself back against the pillows with a raspy grunt, all to regard her cousin beside her.

Aelin had grown much, and healthily it seemed. There was a warmth and vitality to the young woman’s cheeks that Aedia was sure reflected the same joyous express her cousin always had when she was a child. Whether that was something she had maintained during their time apart, however, was yet to be revealed.

Suddenly feeling as if she were somehow intruding upon her sleeping cousin, Aedia turned to admire the room. It was cosy. Homely. Not something the general would have thought to find in such a down-beat area of the capital. The inner walls of the room were a handsome beige wood whilst the outer were made of painted old bricks, all of which were rough-worn from the salty air that permeated the warehouse district of Rifthold from the docks. Weak beams of gold pierced through the open window right above Aedia’s bed, all of it catching her eye as she turned to look at the green curtains drifting slightly in the morning breeze, their colour almost glowing from the sunlight. The sky was painted that tranquil azure-lilac colour which she was well-used to seeing from her many mornings spent as a soldier; it was nice. Nicer than any other fate that could have possibly waiting for her in that cell, even if it wouldn’t last for long.

“Aedia…?” a hoarse voiced snapped her attention away from the window and back towards the inside of the room. Aedia’s wide eyes met the groggy ones of her cousin, who appeared to be trying to wring out whatever crick in her neck she had attained from sleeping in such a funny position. She managed to get out between clearing her throat, “how are you feeling?”

Tears suddenly pricked her eyes and her smile wobbled. Aedia took in a shuddering breath, “better… better than I have felt in a very long time.” A tear slipped free, rolling down her cheek and it was at that moment Aelin decided to leap at her older cousin. Yelping out, Aedia eventually managed to brace herself before they both hit the stone outer wall of the room.

Aelin gasped, suddenly drawing back, “oh! Sorry! Are you alright?”

Chuckling, the general replied swiftly, “yes, of course…” Aedia stared into her cousin’s eyes, the eyes that mirrored her own and told her she was safe. “Now,” Aedia said as she arched a brow, “let me hug you properly.” Aelin grinned that shit-eating grin she used to wear when they were younger and about to prank Ren or another one of the boys at court. Aedia was welcome to see it as her cousin dove into her arms once more and sighed, relishing in the human contact.

They stayed like that for a few moments before Aelin drew back again, watching her cousin with cautious eyes as Aedia rested still on the many pillows of her bed. Challenging the young woman to ask her question, Aedia quirked her mouth up into her classic one-sided smirk and simply waited. “We have a lot to discuss,” Aelin started slowly. She licked her lips, stealing herself before pushing onwards, “But first of all you should know-”

“How beautiful I am despite being on the mend?” Aedia interrupted.

To which she received a good-nature shove.

They both chuckled, the tension fleeing the room momentarily as if the war had never happened. As if it had never stolen away their childhood and all the hopes and dreams that would have come along with it. Then it returned all too quickly as Aelin clutched at her cousin’s hands once more, failing to meet Aedia’s eyes, “I never managed to retrieve your armour… or you shield… or your weapons.” The young woman worried at her lip with her teeth, glancing up shyly to regard the older woman’s reaction.

“That’s neither here nor there.” Aedia dismissed it all with a soft smile and a wave of her hand. “What matters is that your _reckless_ stunt managed to save my arse and _you_ didn’t get hurt or killed from it either,” Aedia chided jokingly. The young woman nodded vigorously, wiping furiously at her cheeks before taking in an unsteady breath and meeting her cousin’s kind gaze once more. “We can retrieve my arms later. What’s most important is for you to know that I’ll never be able to tell you how grateful I am Aelin – truly. You being alive was beyond anything I had ever hoped for – and that I am alive also to see it makes me almost question whether I’m maybe just in some sort of hellscape or perhaps just dreaming. But, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you’re here and I’m never going to leave you again; you’ll always have me. I will serve you from this day until my last day.”

Her voice had gone quite hoarse after that particularly emotional promise, and so Aedia wondered how either of them might survive the rest of this discussion when their throats were raw and coarse like the desert plains of the south from the lifetimes of grief they bore. “I’ll get us some water,” Aelin rose from the bed and departed the room, calling out behind her as if reading her mind, “I have the feeling we’ll be needing it!”

Aedia shuffled herself, once more trying to get comfortable. She had a feeling, though, that no matter how soft the pillows and blankets, the nervousness she felt from the situation would make it exceedingly hard to be able to settle herself. As soon as Aelin returned with a glass jug and two gleaming tall glasses on a carved wooden tray, however, the older woman’s nervousness spiked. The younger woman settled herself back onto the bed, next to Aedia, resuming the relaxed closeness of their relationship, where things flowed easily like a stream in a quiet wood – something else that they had lost due to this blasted war.

Their eyes met as the sun finally rose fully from the blanket of the horizon, its light stretching above the warehouses of the district, setting ablaze the gold in both of their irises. “Tell me everything,” Aedia gently asked. Aelin acquiesced.

It was midday when she finished telling Aedia everything. They had refilled the water jug at least a few times by now and gotten a small snack of cheese and crackers. Aedia was now laying down, her side having become too sore from sitting up properly. No matter how much better she was feeling after the prince’s physician had seen to her, it was still too early to be doing normal every-day things. Much to the general’s disappointment.

“What about you?” Aelin asked from her vantage point, her pianist’s fingers stroking gently through the older woman’s hair that had been fanned out across the pillows. “What has happened all these years? I mean… more than you becoming some talented mountain warrior _and_ general _and_ a rebel spy.” The last part was huffed out with a bout of breathy laughter. Aedia hummed contentedly, her way of laughing in her current state of languidness.

Rolling onto her good side, the general placed her head in her cousin’s lap as she began her tale. “When…” she breathed in and licked her lips, “when it all happened, on _that_ night, I was in Orynth. They had locked me away in the uppermost room of the north tower – until… until your nurse maid came and got me that is.” Aedia glanced up at Aelin, who gave the general a stiff nod to continue on with her story. “We managed to escape down into the citadel, but in all the chaos and madness somehow… somehow she was killed. I slipped through it all though, and managed to get into the lower regions of the mountains. I carried on until I was somewhere between Allsbrook and Rosamel – gods know how I ever lasted that long on my own, with only water to drink and nothing to eat. That’s when she found me.” Aedia huffed a laugh, still not believing her luck all these years later. “Her name was Antiope, she was the general of the Iverni legions and was on the retreat from the Battle of Theralis. I couldn’t believe my luck; the very same northern tribe I had admired from the moment I knew about them were there, in all their fatigued glory… and the general, she took pity on me, gave me more rations than I deserved. Anyone else would have left me to starve in the Staghorns – but not Antiope. Not her warriors either. She was too good to be true. After I recovered – after everyone recovered from the battle and the long journey northwards – they took up council with their queen to decide what to do with me. Some saw me as a foreigner, a worthless scrawny child with no skills and no selling points – others were kinder, but not by much.”

Aedia took a moment to remember those early days where her innocence had still been freshly cut raw by the realities of the world. She still mourned for the dainty court lady that had been lost sometimes. Until she remembered that she would be dead and gone a hundred times over if she had been given the luxury of a court-based life. Aedia blinked a few times, cleared her throat and continued on, “The Queen decided that I was to be trained as one of their mountain warriors – a _laoch baineann_ – and I don’t think anyone thought that I would have made it past the first few months of training, let alone become a general. But I did. I trained hard. And when the Iverni decided to merge their ranks – a compromise in one of the many deals that so many of the tribes made early on – I then climbed the ranks of the Ardalanian army. I did whatever I had to – and I mean _whatever_ I had to, no matter how obscene or beneath me it was, _I did it_. All because I decided I had one thing, and one thing only to fight for.”

“…what was that?” Aelin asked softly, her fingers still combing through Aedia’s hair. Gentle, as if they weren’t really there at all.

“Revenge.” Aedia’s tongue felt heavy as the word dropped out of her mouth. She knew Aelin would be disgraced by such a notion. Terrasen – the peace-loving, non-violent kingdom of the north, forever stained by a monster obsessed with avenging her dead family and friends and fellow countrymen. “For you. And Rhoe and Evalin. And your nurse. And all the people who feel at Theralis, the people who fought when they knew there was no hope. And all the fae who were hunted down or enslaved or burnt alive. For everyone – I wanted to avenge everyone who had ever been wronged by the snake who sits in that gods-awful castle. I still do. That’s why I was captured – after all those years of patiently swallowing my grief, of holding onto my anger as tightly as possible and keeping all of my cards close to my chest, I _snapped_. A friend of mine died – murdered on some street somewhere when she wasn’t doing anything – and I- my men took me to her body, where it had been _left_. Swaying from a tree like she was some sort of animal caught from hunting. So that’s why I…”

Aedia sighed, hot tears starting to seep down her face and into the fabric of her cousin’s pants, still not believing her stupidity to this day.

“I forced my troops into battle. One that I had planned, admittedly, but had not expected to find myself in for at least another few months when my allies were by my side and my connections stronger. I rushed in, head-strong as usual. I guess I can count my lucky stars that I had the wherewithal even in my grief to call a full retreat before it turned into a bloodbath. Of course, to save them, I had to remain behind – a double loss to the rebellion I suppose one might say.”

Aedia remained quiet after that; she didn’t know what else to say. There were so many things that Aedia had done, for the good of her country and people – though adopted they may be – all because it was better for her to suffer in the place of someone else. Even if their suffering was only reduced marginally because of it. The general was expecting anything else – _anything_ – but what Aelin said next.

“I think I know what you’re talking about when you say that you did whatever you had to…” Aelin wasn’t looking at the older woman when Aedia glance up to observe her cousin, “I had to do awful things too to stay alive, amongst other things.”

Snorting softly, Aedia began to shake her head vigorously. She even laughed slightly, “No.” The laugh became a full on chuckle. “No Aelin, what you did, you did because you were a child thrown into a pit of vipers left on your own to survive – and even then you held onto your integrity. I started stabbing people in the back a year after the Fall of Orynth. I fought and bartered and _fucked_ my way through the Ardalanian army. I sold myself – body and soul – to whomever I could for whatever reason – a favour here, a blind eye there… sometimes just because I was forced into a corner and it was what they wanted. It didn’t matter what _I_ wanted.” Aedia knew there were more than a few tears that had slipped from her face now – this was the feeling she hated most of all. The self-loathing. “I know that I’ve already offered and you’ve already accepted… but if you don’t want me in this new court of yours, I won’t hold it against you. I know I’m not-”

“Stop right there,” Aelin demanded vehemently before she pushed Aedia up from her lap. The general knew now that the dream was over, it was drawing to a close. Her time was up. She took in her cousin’s face – this woman’s face – for the last time as she sat up properly opposite Aelin on the bed, the afternoon light washing everything into a ball of technicolour.

Or so she thought.

“You are not going anywhere,” Aelin said, staring directly into Aedia’s eyes – as fierce as a she-wolf. “You and I are staying together no matter what. I don’t care what happened in your past during the time we were apart – just as you don’t care for mine. You couldn’t help some of the things you did or what was done to you. You were a child – _a fourteen year old girl_ – young and innocent just as I was. As for the other stuff, well… you may have committed some acts that some absolute arsehole somewhere may think they have a right to judge you for, but who cares? You did what you had to – and you didn’t do it because you wanted that for yourself. You wanted to do it for _others_ , which is a hell of a lot more than anyone else’s motivations in this whole gods damned mess. I don’t forgive you – because you don’t need forgiveness. I don’t have any right to judge you either – I have no clue what I would have done if I had been forced into the situations you were forced into.” Aelin took a breath, placed her hand on her cousin’s shoulders and squeezed gently in reassurance. “You a brave and strong and you have been through absolute fucking _shit_ ,” the fire in her eyes was still there, burning a path with her golden gaze, “You are a good person, Aedia Ashryver, and you are _more_ than welcome at my court, dear cousin. It’s where you deserve to be.”

Aedia didn’t have words. Very few people had said anything remotely like this to her. And for those who did have the fortune of such a close relationship with Aedia, they rarely found the time to express anything more than quick reassurances. Even if she had heard this before, though, Aedia knew it wouldn’t have been the same. It wouldn’t have been from _family_.

Drying her eyes, Aedia took a breath and smiled at her cousin. It was shaky at best, but it was there. “It seems you’ve saved me in more ways than one, Aelin.” Her cousin nodded at her, drinking in the sight of the great general being so open and free with herself. A rare sight. And one that comes with great pride on the receiver’s end. “Thank you, Aelin,” Aedia whispered as she took her cousin’s hands from her shoulders and squeezed them tightly, “honestly you’re a gods send – you always are. But especially so after those few months in that awful cell.”

Aelin belted out a hearty laugh, throwing back her head in her mirth, “If only Rowan were here – he would soundly disagree with you!” The shit eating grin was back, her eyes lit up like streetlights on a winter’s eve. Aedia joined in in the next bout of laughter, loosing herself in a way that she hadn’t done for quite some time. They fell onto the bed, holding one another and laughing, sharing funny stories after so many dark and morbid ones.

Night began to set as the conversation winded down, a laugh or two popping up here and there as they discussed whatever else came to mind. Aedia caught the sea breeze again breaking through the still-open window, the curtains now a deep green in the dying light. She listened to the musical sound of Aelin’s voice and laughter as she told a tale about the two fae warriors she had met in Wendlyn, the story interspersed with rancorous shouts of fishermen and dock workers from afar, and the occasional cry of a seagull. Aedia, still listening attentively to her cousin’s happy story, peeked out of the window to look up at the sky; stars had begun to shine in the twilight inkiness of the capital’s evening, the world turning into some bizarre state of softness where everything was _just_ right.

Suddenly though, Aelin stiffened. Aedia whipped her head to her cousin. “What?” Aedia propped herself up on one arm, “did you hit your foot on the bedpost or something?” she joked light heartedly, frowning down at her cousin’s worried face.

Aelin chuffed and shook her head, but still worried at her lip with her teeth. She swallowed tightly before looking up at the general again. “There’s something I need to tell you… a bit of a devil of a secret I’m afraid,” Aelin murmured quietly, as if whatever secret she held could break the spell of magic hour that they were entranced in. Aedia waited patiently, keeping her eyes trained on her cousin, letting the younger woman take her time. Exhaling, Aelin clenched her jaw and opened her mouth. There was a moment or two before the words fell out, before the grin took over her features once more. “I missed you!”

Aedia burst out into laughter and lightly shoved her cousin, exclaiming in the now-quiet room, “oh you wanker!” The two women descended once again into a bout of chuckles, losing themselves to the intoxicating mirth of their warehouse haven. The moon loomed down over them, a mirror image to when they had started their conversation that morning with its beams piercing through the window fiercely as the cousin’s laughter danced across the wind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Aelin didn't reveal the big secret that Gavriel is Aedia's father... Whoops? 😳
> 
> Also translation (from Irish to English): laoch baineann = female/woman warrior.  
> Low-key used google translate as I only know a bit of Scots Gaelic, and was originally going to translate the phrase into SG but then thought "well, the Iverni were an ancient tribe based in what is now the southern area of the Republic of Ireland so I kind of HAVE to translate to Irish??" Even though it probably would be the same lmao 😂👌🏻


	3. a sight for sore eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aedia and Aelin have ANOTHER chat because these Ashryvers like to talk A LOT.  
> 😌✨it's called a healthy relationship sweethearts ✨😌
> 
> But some things still aren't being said so how healthy is it really? You decide. 👀
> 
> Low-key I'm so bad at summaries, sorry not sorry 😔✌🏻

Aedia was pacing before the fire place in her cousin’s parlour room. She was pretty sure that after the few hours of dire panic and repetitive ambling in between the small settee and roaring flame, she had managed to wear a hole or two into the carpet. The feeling was intoxicating, however, filling up her lungs as if she were drowning in a sea of doubt. The more she paced, the more she attacked the situation mentally, greater was the depth she sunk to in her dread.

Despite the numerous reasonings she had provided herself over the past few hours – that Aelin was trained, that she was a grown adult, that she had been taking care of herself for years, that Aedia was just letting her instincts get the best of her, that this sudden panic over not knowing where her cousin was, was only due to the recent loss of a loved one, in addition to the many previous losses of family and friends in this latest decade – Aedia continued to spiral and lose control. On the outside she looked calm, as if she were beside her commanders in her tent at some camp, readying herself and the others for battle.

If only it were as easy as coming with a strategy and executing it as she wished. Aedia had thought about going after her cousin, however, of somehow tracking her down and hauling her arse back to the flat. All it ever amounted to, though, was a reckless half-baked plan of action. Without weapons and whilst also not in optimum health, such an impulsive decision would only lead to her demise, consequently making all of Aelin’s heroic deeds to rescue her null and void. Especially considering that in recent days wanted posters, all of which listing a considerable bounty for Aedia (dead or alive), had started to pop up all over the capital.

Thus, Aedia forced herself to the one thing she hated the most; sit tight. It was deplorable. She had always hated inaction. Particularly when it came to the safety of someone she cared for. And Aelin was the one person she cared for far beyond anyone else.

 _She’s fine, she’s safe. She can take care of herself,_ Aedia repeated to herself for what felt like the umpteenth time, running her hands over her face and through her hair. Releasing a shuddering breath, the woman swallowed tightly and took to examining the room she had taken up as her personal anxiety cradle, if only as an attempted means to calm herself.

Aedia in no way agreed with her cousin’s tastes. It was too ornate and rich for her liking, what with the finely upholstered settee situated across from the exceptionally carved fireplace, complimented by a well-wrought iron set of pokers and the like. There was a twin set of armchairs too, their colours of emerald green and rich brown somehow not clashing with the settee’s worn purple and gold. Obviously Aelin had acquired her pieces second hand.

The walls of the room were like the others; brick on the outer wall of the building and wooden for the inner walls. The kitchen was off to the left of the parlour, through a rickety door that was made of a similar wood to the internal walls. A cramped hallway was also situated beyond another door that stood opposite to the fireplace, and of course, beyond that were three rooms: Aelin’s room, Aedia’s and then the second bathroom – currently only used by the general herself.

Aedia’s inspection did not take as long as she thought it would. She began again: ornate fireplace, ornate armchairs, slight-less ornate settee, relatively-ornate-but-still-cheap-looking overhead light, rather-worn-but-obviously-previously-ornate rug, creaky doors, similarly-creaky-keep-you-up-all-night walls and one grubby industrial window that hardly let any natural daylight into the room.

 _I guess I could clean?_ Aedia mused to herself. She needed to do something with her hands, to keep them occupied. If she hadn’t already completed her regular exercises for the day, she would have committed herself with a ferocity to them. But she knew that would exasperate her – she already felt as if she were running on fumes from all her monotonous pacing. The general groaned, thinking of the drills that she could be doing if she were not injured. Most importantly, she lamented her favourite part of training (which she wouldn’t have been able to do anyway considering the close quarters her and her cousin were in): archery.

Then again, even if her and Aelin were somewhere they could forgo hiding like some criminal scum, Aedia wouldn’t be able to practise then either due to the loss of her bow. _And all my other hard-earned armour_ , Aedia grumbled.

As her mind drew its storming about things to fill her time drew to a close, the door on the ground floor level to the warehouse opened and then shut, followed by quick footsteps up the staircase and the opening of the door to the parlour. Then appeared Aelin. Aelin looked at Aedia suspiciously, who had _absolutely not_ just scrambled from where she had stood by the fireplace to the settee, attempting to appear ‘nonchalant’. Aedia stared into the fire for a few moments, knowing that her act was far from the most convincing façade in the world, before turning to look at her cousin dead in the eye.

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” Aedia sardonically commented as her cousin remained in the doorway. Silence stretched out between them, neither moving from where they were, neither giving ground. _Ashryvers,_ Aedia scoffed mentally.

“Been waiting here this whole time?” Aelin finally asked, her tone exceedingly casual, a faint smirk painting her face as amusement danced in her eyes.

Aedia did not reply straight away. Instead, she clenched her jaw – whether subtle or not, she didn’t know but the general also found that she didn’t exactly care either – as hot anger lanced all too suddenly through her stomach. “Yes actually,” Aedia replied curtly, looking back into the flames once more, “I have.”

There was another long pause then. Aelin sighed at some point during it. The older woman remained silent however. “Can’t we do this later? I’m tired, and I-” whatever the young queen had been about to say, the general cut her off.

“I have been waiting for hours, _worried out of my mind_ , for you to come back. Now I understand you are _tired_ from whatever misadventure you’ve been on, but what I want to say won’t take very long,” Aedia bit out harshly, the words dripping from her mouth like venom does from the painted snake of the desert regions. The young queen sighed once more, nodding lethargically as she took a seat on the chair by the doorway. The general lowered her head in appreciation, before speaking. “You didn’t tell me where you were going. I had no idea where you were when I woke up and for all I knew you could have been captured, or injured, or worse – _dead_. And I could have never known. The best case scenario is that it could have taken ages for me to find out. But even then, it would have been far too late for me to do anything about it. I’m only thinking of your safety.”

The young queen seemed as if she were biting her tongue. There was an anger in her eyes too now, a budding explosion waiting to be let loose. Exhaling harshly, Aelin levelled her gaze with the general, saying, “I am not to be ordered around by you or anyone. I have the right to do what I need to do – you’re not my babysitter. This needs to be done, I can’t delay nor can I waste time waiting for your permission.”

As the tirade ended, Aedia’s expression softened into one of regret and compassion, understanding all too well how her cousin’s felt with meddling elders. “You could have at least left a note Aelin,” Aedia said to her cousin a bit more softly now, “that’s all I ask. I am not trying to control you or order you around – I have no right to. _You_ are _my_ queen – I follow you. However, I would appreciate being told where you go when you do have things to do on your own. I know I’m not fit enough yet to come outside with you, and I am sorry I can’t be there for you.”

Aelin slumped at that, guilt casting over her features also. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap at you… I’m just-”

“Tired?” Aedia suggested gently as her cousin struggled to find the words for a moment. “I understand, truly I do. As a general and leader of the rebellion, I had practically no one to answer to and even when I did, their low opinion of me made me rather adverse to actually listening to them. When the chain of command is changed, there will always be a struggle; but I promise, I’m not here talking about this with you to disrupt your authority. I only wish to keep you safe. What I don’t appreciate however is deception – _dishonesty_ – I’ve had enough people lie to me, enough people betray me. I know you never would but…” Aedia sighed, running her hand over her face again, failing to notice the flash of guilt-wracked pain slide over Aelin’s face one more, “I need you to know that I want to be involved, I want you to trust me enough to tell me things. Even if it’s not your purpose for doing it, at least tell me where you’re going and who you’re thinking of engaging in a fight or meeting or whatever it is you do when you run off like this. That’s all I ask.”

Aelin smiled weakly and nodded. Laughing softly, Aedia rose and chided her cousin kindly, “Now, go have a bath and get cleaned up. You stink. I’ll prepare dinner.” The young queen only nodded again mutely and copied her cousin, standing up from her seat and moving towards her room.

Aedia watched her leave, worrying _once again_ , that she had perhaps been too harsh on the young woman when contemplating her melancholy reaction. She sighed, bowing her head as the flames crackled, a log breaking in two in the quieting hearth behind her. Following the direction her cousin went, except making a diversion to the kitchen, Aedia rolled her shoulders and sighed once more.

As the woman entered the kitchen and walked past the dining table, which stood essentially in the centre of the room across from the counters, she dragged her calloused fingers over the varnished surface of the table, if only just to feel something for a fleeting moment. Then, from the ice box under the kitchen’s window opposite the door, the general withdrew the last remaining fish that Aelin had bought a few days ago from the market. It was already prepped and seasoned with flavourful spices the young woman always somehow managed to procure. Sorting out a frying pan and some oil, Aedia banged it down on the hob, wincing as the sound of clanging metal reverberated in the small room, before grabbing a few potatoes – all of which were growing ears and worryingly soft. The general took up cutting them into cubes, fishing out another pan from a cupboard and boiling water. As she watched the steam curl in the rays of the setting sunlight, the general only wished that life could be as easy as making a simple dinner after a long day and curling up with a loved one under some blankets, before going to sleep to simply spend time in sedentary bliss again the next day.

In place of her current living situation – on the run, in hiding, waiting to help her cousin overthrow a corrupt government – it seemed like heaven. It was the simple things that Aedia missed. Even though she had her commanders in the Bane, who she was incredibly close to in spite of knowing them for such a small amount of time, Aedia mourned the loss of the life she used to have in the palace at Orynth. The life she had _with Aelin_. Where they were looked after and treasured every day, when there was praise and love to be had in every corner of every room.

The general felt so _old_ and so _tired_. It seemed as if the war was going to drag on forever. Even if it didn’t, it would certainly remain with her - it already haunted her most nights, what would another few more years be to her stress levels? There was no going back, however, and reminiscing on things that could never be would do her no good. All she had to make sure of now was Aelin surviving this, that she was happy at the end of it all. The general's tumultuous emotions didn’t matter in the face of that greater goal. And if Aedia had to turn herself into some kind of living weapon to succeed in it, she would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Essentially, this chapter is kind of filler? I debated cutting it and just going straight on with the next one but then thought it kind of creates a stronger basis for some stuff later on so... it's still here 🤷🏼♀️ It's also really short so sorry again - as you can probably tell, I'm not too wild about this chapter but eh, like I said, it's here now 🙃
> 
> I hope I'm getting the angst across right?? Its very low-key tbh... And also just how toxic Aedion's (Aedia's) perception of Aelin is - not to say their relationship in this fic or even in canon is bad, it's definitely one of my favourites!! I just feel as if sometimes with Aedion (Aedia) putting Aelin on a pedestal, coupled with the fact that he's so desperate to not lose anyone, he will just forgive her quite easily. For instance, he gets annoyed about the blood oath in canon, and then later on she's still withholding information from him (and the others) and yeah sure, he tells her off for that but like?? I don't think Aelin's ever held accountable for things in canon. Idk maybe I'm making this up?? 😂 Ngl it's been so long sine I read the books so who knows 😅
> 
> Lmk what you think!! 😌❤️


	4. when the sun goes down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aedia finally gets to go outside. The walk home has some surprises - surprises she only knows half the truth of. 👀

Aedia belted out an animated laugh as she smacked down her winning hand and scraped up her earnings from the gambling table, deliberately avoiding the questioning – and yet amused – look that her cousin sent her way from where she sat by the bar with Nesryn Faliq. The general sent a wink Aelin’s way and carried on gathering the various coins, rings and pendants from the rickety – and admittedly sticky-with-beer-and-other-non-descript-substances – wooden surface she had decided to begin a game on. Even though there would probably be a disagreement about their different methods of extraction for information later on, the general was having too much of a good time seizing the opportunity of her first time being outside of that blasted warehouse apartment in months to care about her cousin’s controlling ways. If Aelin wished to discuss it, then she may, but there was no guarantee that Aedia would listen. Especially when she was on a such a good roll for the night.

“So,” Aedia drawled out as she watched the cards being dealt once more, recently having relinquished the role to another after an altercation occurred in which she may or may not have been accused of cheating, “has anyone got any good stories for the table?”

That same drunkard of an old sailor was quick to accuse her once more, arguing that she was merely trying to throw their concentration off for the next game, to which there were a few grumbles of agreement.

Aedia scoffed a laugh, her face a pure expression of honest disbelief, “I don’t think there is any need for me to ‘throw your concentration off’ considering you are well past your first dozen bottles for the night, dear sir.” Aedia watched as the loud and bubbly atmosphere of the intoxicated players at the table dulled slightly, and continued on her counter-attack, “besides, I’ve seemed to be doing pretty well without any underhand tricks thus far – so perhaps I should buy us all a round, eh?” At her proposal, another hearty cheer sounded out amongst them and she signalled to a barmaid her request for another round of drinks.

The first deal had finished being dispensed out to the players and Aedia waited until the initial round of the players asking for cards transpired, as well as until after the other players were well into the second half of their most recent drinks, before she proposed the question again. “I’ve heard stories recently of things that go bump in the night…” Aedia perused her cards casually, her posture relaxed and expression blank as she raised her bet, to then peer up from behind them to watch the other’s respond more amiably this time to her prompt.

The toothless sailor coughed, the sound racking his body as though shaking his very skeleton beneath the shabby, thread-bare clothes he wore. He then glanced at her, mumbling, “Aye, I heard a few fellas at the docks who says they be avoiding certain areas now, not too keen on being taken an’ the like by wha’ever it is that’s out there.”

“Come on old man,” the Eyllwean at the table chastised, “that has been going on for weeks now…” He tossed in his bet to the centre of the table. “Don’t go making ghost tales out of old news.”

Aedia watched as the final three tossed in their bets. She levelled her gaze with the Eyllwean merchant diagonally across from her, noting the rich fabrics he wore – a vermillion jacket brocaded with gold silk, tied at the waist with a white sash – before noting the pearl that hung from his earring and the way his black hair and moustache seemed to be slicked back and curled with oil. The general asked in a purring tone, “so have you heard any new stories then? Or are you just trying to shaft the old man in the middle of a tale?” She got a few chuckles at that, but she knew it was really just because the other players at the table were drunk, ready to find anything funny, and not because she was utilising the best of her sharp-tongued wit.

The merchant smirked at her, “I have heard stories about large creatures roaming in the night – but that was a few weeks ago when I first arrived in this rat hole of a city.” He readjusted himself on his seat, purposefully touching the bejewelled, curved dagger her had strapped to his side. Tapping the table with his cards, the backs turned of course, so that no one could dare glance at his hand, he kept his eyes trained on her and spoke up once again. “But, better than that is the story that was told in this very pub not but two nights ago.”

“And that would be?” the only other female player at the table asked, her hazel eyes burning with curiosity as her interest made her lean on the table, as if to try and become physically closer with the story.

The Eyllwean merchant chuckled, chipping in another raise for the bet. The playing at the table stilled as everyone became caught up in what the man was about to say next. He licked his lips and replied, “Two nights ago, a rather dishevelled and distraught lower aristocrat of the mighty and fine Ardalanian court wandered in here and demanded a drink. As soon as he gulped it down his fat guzzle, he turned to the other patrons of this rather not-so-fine establishment and shouted out that he had spotted some rather suspicious activity, as if he were propositioning the law courts in the palace. Everyone, obviously, went about their business – ‘suspicious activity’ in the lower-levels of Rifthold is nothing special, specifically not to the scum that frequents this hive of villainy – and they ignored the man, until of course he offered a reward to whomever may so find this supposed creature what he had spotted in the shadows of some alleyway before it darted away at – and I quote – ‘an inhuman speed’ into the night.”

“What was the reward?” another player asked, this one broadly muscled in comparison to the frail sailor, curvaceous woman and the lean merchant, “has it been paid yet?”

The Eyllwean raised a sardonic eyebrow, responding in a deadpan tone, “I neither know nor care, that was not what interested me.” He sighed heavily, raising his tankard of ale for a drink just before spitting out, “apparently it was a fae.”

Aedia schooled her shock, compartmentalised it into the back of her mind. Looking out of the corner of her eye, she saw a range of emotions amongst the other card players at her table, even some of the other patrons – previously engaged in whatever discussions or arguments or games of their own who had now decided to pitch up to listen to the story – surrounding their gambling table. There was disbelief, shock, incredulity and even fear written across the many faces of those who had deigned to listen to the merchant’s story. Aedia felt all those emotions too, and then one – hope.

Could it be that this fae might have been one she had saved, even?

Eventually the same behemoth of a man who had asked after the price, squawked out a disbelieving scoff and rejected the man’s claim. The Eyllwean raised his hand, pulling his mouth to the side in a grim expression of bored indifference, “It is not my claim that you reject. I only heard that this man thought he had spotted a fae skulking around the lower levels of this gods-forsaken city; what can I say? My interest was piqued. But then I realised how dishevelled the man was and put two and two together – he was obscenely drunk and probably high from whatever drug-induced and post-coital haze he had put himself in before coming here. What he probably saw was just your average criminal skulking in the shadows, which, in such a nefarious state as he was, he probably mistook for some fanciful and extinct creature.”

The woman on Aedia’s right hmphed. “But they’re not extinct are they, though?” she countered, “They still live _and_ rule on Wendlyn. Who’s to say that one didn’t find its way here?”

“Now why would _it_ do that?” the sailor spoke up, before descending into another fit of coughs. Luckily no one noticed the flash of rage and displeasure Aedia accidentally let slip as the old man dared to call one of her kind ‘it’.

“Perhaps because all of its kind were slaughtered and betrayed? Or perhaps because there was something here it needed?” the woman bit back, staring the old man down before returning her attention to the merchant, “Even if someone was as drunk and intoxicated as this supposed aristocrat was, it would still be pretty hard to misidentify a fae – their only identifiable features are there ears… or their teeth. Somehow, however, I doubt that this gentleman was close enough to see its teeth – so he must have seen its ears. Even a very drunk man would be able to tell the difference between a round and a pointed ear.”

The merchant seemed to consider this for a moment before countering – and Aedia wondered at what point, exactly, she had somehow gotten into the middle of what appeared to be becoming an argument – in an even tone, “The man said nothing about ears or that like, only that he saw a giant roaming around outside of whatever establishment he had been at for the night.”

“Taking that into consideration,” Aedia pitched in again, “plus the fact that your man here is as big as a tree and twice as wide, I wouldn’t say it’s so impossible for a regular human being to be as enormous as this man claimed.”

That settled the matter, all the players resting back into their chairs. “Who knows… what’sssssreally going on in this city, eh?” The old man piped up for what was to be his final time as he promptly slumped forward, fallen asleep from his excessive drinking.

“Yes, who knows…” Aedia mused as she dropped down her winning hand once more. Aelin waved at her from afar, a not-so-subtle demand that they leave and finally go back to the apartment. “Well, it appears I have won yet again and I think it is time I put you poor sods out of your misery,” Aedia announced, but as she rose someone grabbed her hand and yanked her about. It was not one of her fellow card players.

“Yer Terrasen-born aren’t ye?” A drunk patron – a city guard – slurred and hiccupped his way through the question. Aedia stiffened up as she almost retched at the rancid smell of his breath, not to mention the sight of his rotting teeth. He was far too close to comfort, and the general wasn’t overly fond of drunk fools. Particularly those of the unhygienic variety.

Aedia wrenched her arm away and snapped back, “Yes, I am; just as the blooming sky is blue and the damn grass is green – I believe it’s rather obvious and doesn’t need to be put up for discussion. So, goodnight to you all.” She placed the rest of her coin and winnings in her purse before turning to leave again.

“Ah, don’ be like that!” the guard followed her, “Just take down yer hood and we can see if yer who I thinks you is or not.”

Aedia stopped to a standstill, her jaw clenching in annoyance at the man’s drunken stupidity. The general whirled back around and snarled out, “Why don’t you go back to whatever dog you were kissing?”

Unfortunately, the suggestion was only met with an equally angered snap: “Or you could let me kiss you, bitch, and we can forget about this whole thing?” To which Aedia threw a punch to the nose and proceeded on her way out.

Once she was outside of the pub, the door still swinging back and forth behind her on its hinges, she sighed, the cool air permeating her lungs and somehow calming her down. The general, between her time in a cell and then later cooped up in her cousin’s warehouse, had forgotten what it was like to deal with the average idiot on a night out. She gazed up at the stars, the night was rather clear, and she could almost make out the North Star. The star that would guide any Terrasen-born person home.

Her reverie with the stars, however, was broken as soon as Aelin emerged from the pub, hissing out into the dark night, “What in the hell was that!?”

Aedia did not have time to answer before the captain spoke up, however. “It looked like a lecherous man and a good right hook to me.” Aedia was beginning to think she rather liked Nesryn.

“I don’t care! You were supposed to lay low, cousin,” Aelin huffed out after snapping back at the other woman.

“Well, I don’t think us arguing outside a heavily-crowded pub is exactly laying low either, but here we are,” Aedia refuted in as dry a tone as she could muster, gesturing with her hands to the surrounding vicinity, which was more or less populated on the crowded side. Aelin still held her angry glare as she sighed in exasperation, “are you okay, at least? He didn’t do anything too bad?” Aedia answered with a quick nod and a small smile which seemingly made her cousin relax a fraction.

“Come on,” Aedia reasoned, “let’s just leave now and forget about it.”

Aelin, sighing once more, grumbled a quick “fine” before leading the charge down a darkened street. Nesryn fell into step beside Aedia, peering up at the taller woman, whose face was still concealed beneath the heavy cloak. The captain grinned cheekily as she asked, “So how much did you win? I saw you flooring that mismatched group of criminals and low-lifes. Must have been quite the party.”

“Yes,” Aedia cheerfully replied with a chuckle, “it was quite fun.” She searched around in the deep well of her coat pocket before fishing out a large handful of coins and jewellery. “Here,” she offered as she took Nesryn’s hand and placed the winnings in it, “I have far too much, and it’s all rather heavy so take some.”

Nesryn gaped like a fish for a second before staring up at the taller woman once more, “Are you sure? What, in all of Erilea, would I do with this much gold?”

Aedia shrugged nonchalantly, trying to shake away the modesty and embarrassment she felt from the other woman’s unadulterated astonishment and gratitude, “Give some to Chaol, for his little group of freedom fighters? Take it for yourself and buy something nice? Or save it for a rainy day? I don’t know; it’s up to you.”

Nesryn swallowed tightly, “thank you.” Aedia smiled just as tightly, before refocusing her attention back in front of her. Noticing the familiarity of the buildings and roads around them, the general blinked in astonishment as she realised how quickly they had passed out of what – somehow – had appeared to be a lower level of the city than the one Aelin’s warehouse resided in. “I forget how small this place is sometimes…” Aedia thought out loud as she slowed her pace slightly, once more glancing up at the stars.

“Is Orynth much bigger?” Nesryn enquired, almost timidly.

Aedia scrunched up her nose in thought, before answering, “no, I don’t think so. But then again, I am overly familiar with the city from when I spent time there before… everything.” Aedia walked a few more steps before speaking once more, her voice losing its wistful tone to take on a more rational tone, “Countering that, however, it has been a few years since I have been there and I could be misremembering it all.”

The captain nodded silently beside the general, understanding not to press anymore on the subject. But then Aedia surprised them both.

“I have spent much of my time in the mountains of Terrasen, the Staghorns, if I was not away on a campaign under duty of the king. The peaks are very expansive; they feel almost endless, especially due to the lack of permanent settlements up there.” Aedia grew silent once more after her sudden voluntary information dump. Her mind wandered to those tall mountains, to the lush grasses that surrounded them at their bases, to the streams and rivers that wound their way through them, carving out their own path amongst such mighty beings. The general’s shoulders slumped ever so slightly as she ripped her mind away from bittersweet memories. “What about you, captain? Where did you grow up?”

“Here in the city, actually,” Nesryn forced out, “well, after my family and I moved from the southern continent. I suppose I, too, am overly familiar with the city – and not all in the best of ways. It has also seemed…” Aedia allowed the woman time to find her words, smirking at Nesryn’s final choice as the captain mused, “insufficient.” Aedia hummed in agreement, darting her eyes all over the place as she felt a shift in the very air around her. The change in atmosphere threw the story she had just heard at the pub back in her face.

Clearing her throat, Aedia started out, “Captain, I don’t suppose you have seen, or head of, any strange going-ons, recently?”

The woman laughed, her dark eyes dancing in amusement like the stars above them. “Considering my recent experiences, you may have to be more specific than that general.”

“What I mean is, something stranger than anything you have experienced recently? Say,” Aedia pursed her lips, contemplating how mad she was about to sound, “sightings of fae for example?”

Nesryn’s amusement died down, disappearing altogether as she stopped the general in her path and regarded her face in the shadows of her hood. “Are you being serious? What brought this on?”

“What brought what on?” Aelin asked, as she walked back on herself to join the two other woman and form a small circle in the middle of the current alleyway they were travelling on. The young queen looked rather concerned, even in the dim shadows of the night. “What’s going on? What are you talking about?”

Aedia rubbed at the back of her neck, feeling very self-conscious out of nowhere all of a sudden, “I heard a story down at the pub…”

Aelin crossed her arms, and the general knew – just _knew_ – there was a disbelieving and raised eyebrow beneath the young woman’s hood. Silence stretched out between the trio for a moment, as the captain and Aelin waited for Aedia to elaborate on what she had heard.

“Apparently, someone saw a fae two nights ago in the same area as that tavern – a street or two down perhaps. I don’t know, I didn’t get the specifics, just the important details.”

Aelin groaned, “Why ever not?”

“That drunkard of a guard already pinned his sights on me because he thought I was Terrasen-born – I couldn’t exactly go around asking after supposed fae sightings in the middle of a crowded pub without raising suspicion, could I?” Aedia countered just as quickly, with just as much familiar, warm ire in her voice as her cousin. The general, shaking her head, conceded, “I asked the man who had heard the story himself – so this is third hand information, by the way, I can’t say it’s exactly reliable – but all he said was that a rather drunk low-ranking nobleman stumbled into the pub and told everyone that he had seen a fae. When he was quizzed for more details however, all he said was that the being – whatever they may have been – was abnormally large and, again from what I can guess, fast. But again, there’s no guarantee for anything he said.”

The younger woman nodded sagely, as if she were somehow an expert on the subject, and remained quiet on Aedia’s recounting of the tale. Nesryn, switching her attention to Aelin’s oddly quiet response, shrugged and supposed to their little group, “well, I guess there’s no need to worry about it then, unless of course it presents a problem. Though I think we’re all in agreement that that is extremely unlikely to happen?”

The two fair-headed women nodded.

“I suppose I better return to my barracks then,” Nesryn announced, looking around the alleyway before turning back to Aedia and smiling warmly, “It was nice to meet you, Aedia, and it was just as nice to see you again, Aelin.” The captain gave them one last wave before disappearing around the corner of the alleyway and into the shadows.

“I like her,” Aedia announced after she was sure the captain was gone, “I like her a lot.”

Aelin chuckled, turning around to make her way back to the apartment, as she reasoned, “of course you do, she almost beat that man in a drinking contest. That would endear anyone to your heart.” Aedia joined her cousin in her mirth, giving a good-natured squeeze to Aelin’s shoulder as she fell into step beside her. It wasn’t long, however, before that _shift_ in the air occurred once more and Aedia didn’t feel too keen to laugh at all. Immediately, she began to scan her surroundings, unsure of whatever it was her instincts were telling her – but then Aelin stiffened and Aedia’s attention pinned on her cousin.

Which was when _they_ appeared.

Aelin was gone in an instant, running towards the two males – who Aedia assumed were _the males_ – and jumping in one’s arms and then the other’s. _Speak of Hellas and he shall appear,_ Aedia mused and she slowly wandered closer to the vibrant scene of activity and reunion. The general couldn’t pick up whatever they were talking about, but she _definitely_ didn’t miss the shared laughter amongst them, nor the following friendly punches Aelin gave to the slightly shorter male. Clearing her throat, Aedia caught her cousin’s attention once more – as well as, regrettably, that of the two legendary warriors behind her – and tilted her head sideways, her gaze narrowed and darting between Aelin and the two males. “Oh!” Aelin gasped, “Right… Aedia, this is Rowan-” the young woman gestured to the slightly taller male, although it was rather useless considering all four of them were heavily cloaked and their faces were concealed “-and this… this is Gavriel.” Aelin gestured to the male on before Aedia on her right. The male looked oddly tense as his head snapped to the young queen, who nodded in answer to some unspoken question.

The general once again felt like an outsider. Perhaps this male had heard of her exploits – the good, the bad, the ugly – and disapproved? _Well, I wasn’t too keen on having a sudden introduction either, buddy_ , Aedia thought. What she said aloud however was, “A pleasure to meet you both.” The response to which seemed to be some sort of shared glance, no, a sort of communication, between the trio.

“Aedia-”

Gavriel had begun to say something, her name seeming almost rushed out and urgent on his tongue, but the general never got to hear whatever it was he was about to say, for Aelin raised a hand, cutting the male off. “Let’s save the discussion until we’re all inside?” It was phrased as a suggestion, but Aedia knew – as well as the fae males knew, she was sure – that there was nothing suggested about it. The general could almost taste the confusion in the air as Gavriel once again focused his attention back on Aelin, another unspoken conversation occurring right before her very eyes.

“I agree,” Rowan, still standing next to Aelin before Aedia on her left, concurred, “we need a secure place to discuss why we’re here.”

Gavriel slowly nodded, glancing once more at Aedia, before nodding more assuredly.

“Let’s go then,” Aelin said, her voice seeming strained in the quiet of the night. The trio assented, forming an odd quartet as they made their way through the alleyways towards the apartment. The night was still around them; still enough that a pin drop could be heard. Aedia thought to herself, as she brought up the rear, being left in the dark amongst the group as they approached the lit area of the street just before the apartment, that it sounded almost like the quiet before the roar of battle. And that did not sit well with her at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Ir was certainly more fun to write than the last! 😌
> 
> I'm sorry it's such a tease as well, but this is how I planned it all to happen so 🤷🏼♀️
> 
> But I'm excited to be able to move forward now with what I actually wanted to write in this fic! Honestly, feel like I can't wait to write the next chapter... who knows? Maybe I won't be able to?? 👀


	5. it's all painted in her grief

Aelin had never been so scared or anxious in her life as she walked the rest of the way down the street to her apartment. Bubbling away right alongside that in her stomach, though, was the greatest excitement she had ever known; her mate was beside her, safe, walking to her apartment, happy to see her. But unfortunately, as soon as she acknowledged the ecstasy she felt, guilt came crashing in like a tidal wave.

How could she have done this?

The month since Aedia’s rescue had somehow slipped through her fingers, as if it were a slippery eel yearning to be gone… and just like trying to catch an eel, anytime the young queen had attempted to open up and expose the truth of Aedia’s parentage, Aelin had been shocked through with an all-consuming terror at the thought of her cousin’s anger. Aelin knew that once it was said, Aedia would wreak a complete and total havoc on anything in her surrounding vicinity. Besides, that was a devastation Aelin could not bear to be the cause of.

Aelin gripped Rowan’s arm tighter, her hand clasping his like a vice; he brushed his arm against her own, attempting to give her some form of comfort without appearing too obvious. She gulped tightly as they approached the warehouse; the moment of truth was quickly arriving. Releasing a shaky breath, the young woman fished in her coat pocket for the key to the door; her hands were shaking slightly and she could only thank whatever gods there were that the light over her door was broken and so could not have been lit that night. Aside from the deep shadows by the entryway, she also just about managed to disguise her palpable fear through having her back turned to her cousin.

 _Dear gods, what am I going to do?_ She thought to herself once more as she rammed the door open. Apparently the night air had caused it to stick. Just about everything felt like it was going wrong – at least to Aelin – as the young queen almost walked into a toppled over crate next to the stairs that led up to the apartment. If not for Rowan, she would have faceplanted the floor by now – not only due to the near collision, but also because of her shaky knees which could barely keep her upright. Somehow she managed up the stairs into the apartment however, and then she completely lost all rationale.

“Oh, Aedia,” the young woman turned to her cousin, “I’m just going get these two cleaned up and then we can talk?” she knew that it was another not-so-suggestive-suggestion that would assuredly come up in the argument to follow the truth’s outing, but she was far too deep in her internal panic to acknowledge such rationality. So, as Aedia opened her mouth to question Aelin, the young queen quickly whipped around and hauled herself and the two gigantic fae males out of the parlour, through the cramped hallway and into her room.

Fortunately, the two males had the initiative to remain silent until they were at least somewhat covered by the thin walls of the apartment.

“Aelin…” Rowan began in what she though was a chastising tone.

“Just hear me out, please! I’m so sorry, okay? I’m really sorry! I didn’t know how this even happened, I’m just so sorry.” The words rushed out before she even knew what she was really saying. Despite her panicked – and admittedly awful – explanation, she still managed to keep her voice rather low and even. That was what she focused on, took pride in the fact that she was still somewhat keeping herself together in the midst of all this. What she would have never expected was her fear of the reaction she would get – not only at her cousin’s, but Gavriel’s too. Somehow, she imagined that her uncle’s anger would be even worse than Aedia’s. Neither of those two things were something she wanted to face.

But of course, it was Gavriel – his calming tone and patient gaze – that looked at her, that reassured her first. “Aelin,” he began, softly gripping her shoulders and comforting her in his way, “you haven’t even explained what’s happened yet, or what you’ve done. So take a breath and start again.” She could see he was itching to meet his daughter, but still, here he was trying to comfort her, putting her needs above his. _Oh gods,_ she thought once again, the feeling of dread pooling in her stomach far too familiar by now.

Eventually, she managed to take in his words and did as he said – the air leaving her lungs at a staggered pace. “Gavriel, I am so, _so_ sorry,” Aelin gushed out once again, swallowing her next words before she drowned them all in the surge of her confusion. Again, the words stuck in her throat. _Why was this so hard?_ She cursed herself for pushing it off in the past; her eyes flicked from the tawny gold of her uncle to the pine green of her mate and back again, the fear almost consumed her but for their kind gazes. “Aedia… she…. Well, she doesn’t _know_ yet?” Her voice trailed up at the end and she watched the moment of realisation dawn upon Gavriel, watched him draw away from her slightly, the tension gather in his shoulders and the flicker of fear in his eyes.

“Right.” The single word came out coarse and broken. He cleared his throat, dropping his hands from the young woman’s shoulders and looking at anything but her or Rowan. “Right,” he repeated once again, swallowing the truth tightly and fidgeting with his hands.

Aelin word vomited again, “I’m so sorry, you must be so angry with me, I honestly meant to tell her as soon as I got her out of the palace dungeons but then she was hurt and then she was recovering and then we had just met again after all this time and I was selfish and wanted time with her by myself and then I had pushed it off for so long and it was getting harder and harder-”

“Fireheart,” Rowan interrupted her outburst, “just breathe.” He rubbed her back comfortably and it was at that moment, when she looked at him again, that she noticed.

“You cut your hair,” she blurted out, blinking her blue and gold eyes up at him, astonishment momentarily painting her features. All he gave her in response, however, was a look that purely said, _not really the time_ , before turning back to his greatest friend in the world.

“Right,” Aelin whispered, her voice hoarse as if she were on the verge of tears. She realised she was – she never thought it would come to this and cursed herself once again. “Gavriel, I cannot say how sorry I am and you have every right to hate me…” she trailed off as she watched him rub the back of his neck, “I- I- I don’t know what to say, what to _do_ , to make this better.”

The Lion sighed, his hand falling to his side once again, as his tawny eyes turned back to the young queen and said in the softest tone, “It’s alright.”

“It is?”

“Yes,” Gavriel huffed out in between a quiet laugh, “Yes… I- Well, I expected something was wrong when you wouldn’t let me say anything to her. But out of all the things I imagined, this was – admittedly – not what I thought had happened, but… well, let’s just say I imagined a lot worse.”

“I bet you did,” Rowan joked, crossing his arms. The only response he got was a glare from Aelin and a-not-so-light-punch from Gavriel. “What? He’s a worrier.”

“Actually,” Aelin laughed, “I agree with Rowan, wholeheartedly.”

Gavriel just shook his head fondly at them both. Aelin could see the question of ‘what was he to do with them?’ passing through his mind. She waited patiently, giving him the time he had allowed her to have. After running his hands through his hair – which he hadn’t cut, unlike Rowan, and Aelin knew she would just _have_ to get the reason why and tease him relentlessly about it later – she saw a strategy come to his mind. “Alright,” Gavriel addressed the younger occupants of the room, “we need to get cleaned up so she doesn’t catch on and come asking questions. Is there only one bathroom?”

Aelin shook her head, “no, two. The other is down the hall, past Aedia’s room.”

Gavriel nodded again, sighing once more. “I will take that bathroom and clean up in there. Rowan can catch you up on everything that’s happened and why we’re here. I’ll-” he blinked a few times and swallowed rapidly as the nervousness rose in his throat again “-I’ll tell Aedia… _everything,_ and then we can regroup from there.”

Aelin assented, catching Rowan’s curt nod from the corner of her eye. “Good luck. We’ll be here if you need assistance,” she wished him cheekily on his way. Gavriel only groaned as he left the room, leaving them alone.

“Now…” Rowan drawled, his eyes lazily finding Aelin’s own, “I intend to _thoroughly_ inform you of everything that has happened.”

* * *

Aedia had been waiting for what felt like ages, but by the clock on the mantelpiece, she knew to only be around fifteen or twenty minutes. She thought to herself that she could be patient for just a little while longer as she stoked the flames of the fire she had just made. The chilling air of the docks had suddenly swept through the parlour; even though the general was used to the cold of the northern mountains, it still somehow chilled her to the bone. Her stomach was in knots as if anticipating something… _monumental_. Shaking her head, Aedia focused her gaze on the fire more acutely, her battle with a stubborn log that wouldn’t move despite her continuous prodding with the poker slowly seeming futile. Sighing, she relented and reach in with her hand, quickly shifting the log with her nimble fingertips.

A choked sound came from behind her.

Aedia turned around slowly to gaze up at the male, who could only be described as golden, standing in the doorway. Just as he had outside, Gavriel looked unreasonably nervous – almost timid. _Well,_ Aedia mused, _I suppose you can give scaredy cat a whole new meaning…_

“Erm,” he started, golden eyes darting over the room before pinning themselves back on her, “hello.”

Aedia blinked and rose up from her seat by the roaring fire, “hi?” she looked around the room herself now, feeling unsure about herself before such a legend without her cousin to support her at her side. Clearing her throat, Aedia mentioned whilst replacing the poker in the rack, her back turned to him, “there’s tea in the kitchen, freshly boiled.”

Silence stretched out for a moment between them, making the unease in Aedia’s chest brew well and good. She wondered if he could scent her confusion perhaps. Her inner ramblings were cut short when Gavriel posed his question, however. “You... uhhh... you, like? tea?” Aedia turned back round to see him, noticing his hands fidget just a bit as her gaze ran over him, assessing.

“It’s an average beverage, I suppose,” she replied dryly.

The male only smiled and nodded, but it seemed weak, transparent somehow. And not in a good way.

“So,” Aedia began as she settled into the armchair on the right hand side of the fire, “what are you doing here?”

Gavriel shifted uneasily once again.

“What?” Aedia laughed. “Can’t tell me without Her Worshipfulness here?” but the joke was not met with any sort of humour. Aedia frowned; was she not allowed to joke about her own cousin? She knew the males were both blood sworn to the young queen – not to mention they were _fae males_ – and so were extremely territorial, yet that all seemed so excessive in the face of family. Of natural blood ties. Not to mention that Aedia felt her several years of knowing Aelin far outweighed whatever time the two males had spent with her cousin. “Well? Are you going to say anything?” Aedia asked with an eyebrow arched in his direction.

She caught his eyes then, as they returned to her. Some unbearable sorrow, accompanied with a soft fondness, filled them to the brim. The golden pools almost seemed to draw her in, making her even more uneasy as she drowned in their comforting depths. The general showed no sign of weakness however, as her steel-like gaze remained level with his. “We’re here because a blood-sworn warrior of Maeve’s is in the city,” Gavriel explained whilst he moved to sit down on the couch directly opposite the fireplace, “and he’s not overly fond of Aelin.”

“And which one would that be?”

Gavriel’s hands fidgeted – seemingly of their own accord – once more as he replied, “Lorcan Salvaterre.” The quiet of the night settled once more. That is, until Aedia gave a sarcastic laugh. Out of the corner of her eye, she noted that Gavriel seemed shocked – no, pleasantly surprised. He blinked a few times, but remained silent. Aedia was quickly understanding that this fae male was of the variety where what they said was more about quality, than quantity.

Aedia’s laughter died down eventually; she wiped at the corners of her eyes and clarified, “Of all the fae males to piss off, of course Aelin would anger him.”

“You…” Gavriel began, his voice faint, “You know him?”

“No,” Aedia replied, shaking her head as she studied her right hand, massaging the palm just as something to do in order to avoid looking at the older male who sat so very close to her, “no, not _know_ him, but know _of_ him, yes; there are stories that circle the Staghorns. Stories about all of you.” The ancient warrior nodded, remaining silent once more, allowing the awkwardness to settle back in the room. Aedia became tired of the relentless cycle; stealing herself, she breathed in a fresh breath of air and decided to be brave. Forgoing her previous timidness, she asked, “Do you know why he’s here?” The general decided to keep her eyes focused on him this time, to observe his response.

“We believe he may be searching for the wyrdkeys under Maeve’s orders.” Gavriel had finally settled into a position, not unnaturally still, but rather controlled and calm. Like how a warrior should be. Whatever had made him uneasy before, apparently he had gotten over. Or at least concealed. _Thank the stars for that,_ Aedia thought, relieved she no longer had to tiptoe around an unsure male. “Rowan and I know for sure he’s been in this area recently,” the warrior supplied, his voice becoming more and more assured by the second.

Aedia’s eyebrows rose; she murmured, her tone full of astonishment, “So that bastard of an aristocrat at the pub was telling the truth, then.” Another bubble of sardonic laughter threatened to break loose, but the general managed to suppress it into a twisted smile which was all too obvious about her inner struggle. The damn inside her broke however as she caught Gavriel’s gaze, muddied with confusion – again. “Sorry,” she managed to apologise through her laughter, “trust me, I’m not usually this full of mirth.”

That didn’t do the trick however; she watched his eyes wash away the confusion to only be replaced with sadness. _Oh gods,_ Aedia sighed mentally, _what have I done now?_

“Aedia,” Gavriel started, her name on his tongue sounding the same as it had before, outside, rushed with urgency, “there’s something-”

A thud sounded at the door. Aedia’s head whipped round to it. It had come from the door that led from the parlour to the hallway. Wasting no time, the general rose and crossed the room to it, despite Gavriel’s noise of protest.

Upon opening it, Aedia arched an eyebrow in questioning disapproval at her cousin and the male warrior, both of whom were sprawled helplessly on the ground, as they sheepishly glanced up at her. “What,” Aedia began as she surveyed them both, their limbs all entangled together, “exactly, is going on?”

Aelin was the first to get up, and so the job of providing an explanation fell to her. “Well, Rowan and I were just…” Aelin looked to her mate as she trailed off, pleading with her wide blue eyes for assistance.

“We were just going to get something from the kitchen!” Rowan offered quickly, Aelin shooting him a grateful look. A moment or two passed, the general giving them another of her disbelieving looks, before she crossed her arms and dared to needle them further.

“What were you thinking of getting from the kitchen?”

 _Caught red handed,_ Aedia chuffed to herself, watching them both squirm under her penetrating glower. She supposed she had to give them credit, they lasted more than most. “Alright,” Aelin relented, ignoring the shocked glare her mate sent her way, “we were listening in. We’re sorry, but we’ll be leaving now since we heard what we needed to – so have fun chatting!” The young queen began dragging the older fae warrior away, but she didn’t get very far.

Aedia’s hand flew down like a vice onto Aelin’s arm, hauling both her cousin and Rowan back into the parlour. She took up her stance once more before the door – all in all, effectively blocking them in – arms crossed feet planted shoulder-width apart, eyes like steel as their gaze pinned back onto the three inhabitants of the room. Behind Aelin, the general noticed Gavriel standing once again, his head in his hands, noticeably cringing at the absolute wreckage of a late-night conversation occurring before him. _At least I’m not alone in my embarrassment,_ Aedia guessed.

Looking Aelin straight in the eye, the general asked calmly, “Would you care to explain what is going on?” It was a challenge. Outright and undeniable. Aedia knew her cousin would never be able to back down. What Aelin did surprised her, however.

The young queen remained silent.

“Oh, come _on_ ,” Aedia practically begged, “Don’t be shy! I know something’s going on – between your little unspoken conversation outside, this one being-” Aedia gestured to the golden fae over Aelin’s shoulder, “-all fidgety and your lurking at the door, it’s not exactly secret! Besides – listening in on a conversation that is only discussing what you already know? You’re not being very subtle, Aelin.”

Yet, the young woman remained silent, shifting slightly, her eyes darting to her mate once more. Aedia only scoffed and shook her head in disbelief at the sight before her. She couldn’t believe it – was it that hard to tell the truth?

“I can explain.”

Aedia’s gaze travelled extremely slowly to the golden warrior, her eyebrows still raised in a challenge. She waited patiently, watching him as he moved to be closer to her, Rowan and Aelin stepping aside to allow him through. “I was trying to tell you before,” Gavriel rushed out, his shoulders tense again, hands fidgety, “but these two obviously ruined the moment.” The older fae’s reproving tone was not lost on Aelin or Rowan, their expressions turning sheepish once more.

“Right…?” Aedia shifted her feet slightly, not sure she was going to like wherever this was going. She told them as much, ensuring her tone came out expressing her dry humour rather than the trepidation that was working its way through her stomach – almost like having butterflies.

Gavriel chuckled, “trust me, I wasn’t expecting to have to have this conversation so soon either, _if at all_.”

“…Sorry about that,” Aelin supplied, her eyes pointed at the floor in what almost looked like shame. Aedia peered briefly at Aelin, after catching Gavriel’s dismissive wave at the young woman; the general couldn’t deny that she was rather smug about her cousin’s sheepishness. Nor was it lost on her that her cousin still wore the exact same expression as she had when they were both little and had been caught over some wrong-doing or another. Of course, she did not yet realise the enormity of the situation.

Gavriel drew the general’s gaze back to him, his hands finally still and jaw set in new-found determination. Taking a deep breath, he said the words that would change everything: “Aedia, I am your father.”

The general was silent, her mouth parted slightly in shock.

She felt like she couldn’t breathe.

Aedia waited a moment. And then another. And another. Until she realised not one of them was joking. Her arms finally dropped. She closed her mouth and swallowed, pretending as if the tears in her eyes weren’t there. “How long?” Her voice came out hoarse, eyes still trained on Gavriel, watching him open his mouth to answer.

But she dismissed him, turning to the true subject of the question. _Her dear, faithful cousin,_ she thought bitterly.

“I met Gavriel first in Wendlyn and…” Aelin began, peering at the warrior – the general’s _father_ – out of the corner of her eye, before continuing more assuredly, “we didn’t know at first. When we discussed it, I didn’t know that I’d ever see you again; but then I _found_ you, and you were _alive_ , and willing to _stay with me_. I didn’t want to ruin anything, our reunion, I didn’t know where we stood and we kept arguing over little things-”

Aedia interjected, “but we’ve always argued over stupid things!”

“I know, I know,” the young woman replied, sighing, her face full of remorse, “but you were also injured recently, and I knew that alone was a strain, not to mention the added grief of losing your friend-” Aedia couldn’t help the whimper that escaped her, finding her secrets being so freely discussed extremely unnerving, “I didn’t want to give you any undue stress while you were recovering – I mean you could have opened up your stitches or something! I don’t know!” Aelin groaned, throwing her head back as she did so, almost as if she were beseeching the heavens to end this torment. If Aedia weren’t so angry then she would have acknowledged that she wished for the same thing.

Instead she went on her own tirade. “I’m sorry to be blunt, Aelin,” the general started, talking through gritted teeth, “but that’s a bullshit excuse and you know it – you’ve had a month to tell me. And yes, I may have been recovering at first, but my stitches were out _over a week ago_ , so that that doesn’t excuse you either – I could have handled it. You have no right to hide something like this from me. There isn’t a leg for you to stand on here Aelin. None. So don’t even try it.”

“I’m sorry, truly I am,” Aelin pleaded, her eyes shining with unshed tears, “I didn’t mean for you to find out like this. Before, I thought that you needed time and space to heal. And yes, maybe I was being selfish and I just wanted you to myself for a while – is that so bad?” There was a pause for a moment. “I’m sorry Aedia, I just didn’t want to stress you out and I didn’t think you were ready to hear it yet. Who expected either of these two to show up? It certainly wasn’t me! This is all sudden and unfortunate, but I didn’t have any malicious intent, I swear.”

Aedia refused to back down. She knew that Aelin was being apologetic, that she felt guilty, but she had to make sure her cousin held herself accountable. Shaking her head, the general began once again, “You don’t get to decide what I need to hear. You do not get to decide what is good or bad for me. That’s not your choice to make – it’s no one’s but my own!”

Aedia may have lost her collected manner at the end there, but she found she didn’t exactly care. This _hurt_ , it hurt so much and she couldn’t find it in herself to pick up her typical ‘shrug it off and deal with it later’ mentality. She had every right to be angry. She wasn’t backing down. “Aedia-” her father began, but she cut him off.

“No. Not now. You do not get to talk right now.” Was the only response she gave, refusing to even look him in the eye.

“Now, wait a minute-” Rowan protested, deciding it was his time to pitch in.

“Not you either, buddy,” Aedia snapped, dismissing him too and _oh_ , she could practically feel the rage coming off of him. The general wished she could laugh at the absurdity of it all, but she knew that would just end in tears for all parties involved.

Aelin looked at her cousin, her eyes full of pity, “Aedia just listen to him.”

“Why should I?” she snapped back all too quickly, “Why should I listen to the male who abandoned my mother? Who didn’t even bother to come to her when she was _sick and dying_? The only thing going for him is that he helped _you_ , but considering that we’re not on the best of terms at the moment, that puts him back on the knife edge right alongside yourself, sweetheart.”

“Aedia-” that was the fourth time _he_ had said her name like that now. Still that same rushed tone. The general now understood the urgency – the thought almost made her laugh bitterly. But she couldn’t – she was angry, so, so angry. Aedia hadn’t been this angry since…

She realised she had _never_ been this angry.

“No,” she protested again, shaking her head, her hand raised as if to stop an attack, “No. You lost the right to speak to me when you abandoned my mother.” Her eyes finally settled on the male. The general would never have imagined it; the pure distress on Gavriel’s face was unbelievable, and to know that _she_ was the cause of bringing the Lion to his knees, even more so. The attack succeeded though, she got him to stop; the male resigned himself to his fate, clamping his mouth shut and nodding pitifully. “I need to leave,” Aedia blurted out, “I- I need to get out of here.”

She stormed past them all, grabbing her jacket and cloak as she neared the door, resolutely ignoring Aelin calling out her name, trying to get her to stay. There was no reason for her to, and so into the night she descended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for any typos! It's late and I'm cba to edit whoops 😔✌🏻
> 
> The title of this chapter is from Florence + the Machine's "Landscape" which I feel FITS AEDIA SO PERFECTLY like omg 😮
> 
> Also, I forgot to say thank you for over 100 hits! I know it's not much but it's exciting for me ahahaha 🥳
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter - like I said before, writing this fic is far more enjoyable now that we're here!! 😋


	6. until the tears start to wither

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Essentially, an inner monologue on top of an inner monologue. 👀

Gavriel felt like his legs were that of a newly born fawn’s, they were so shaky, as he sat down back onto the settee. It had been ten minutes since his daughter had left. He hadn’t uttered a word since, and his move to sit down was the first sign of life that he had given to Rowan and Aelin in all that time. Silence stuck to the corners of the room like a bad smell, wafting in and turning everything into an acrid stench of despair.

The Lion felt hollow, as if a woodcarver had come along and whittled away at him, but had somehow ruined the piece and left it to rot. “Well,” he eventually said, his voice still hoarse, “you can forget about me saying I imagined a lot worse.” Tears threatened to spill. He wished he could lie to himself and say that this was unexpected, but how could he? Even before he had known of Aedia, the guilt and inner turmoil of having abandoned the only woman he had ever cared for had eaten away at him slowly, quietly, far away from prying eyes.

When he and Aelin had figured out the truth, however, he had foolishly allowed himself to hope. Hope that there was some way he could redeem himself from his greatest failure.

 _Selfish_ , he cursed himself bitterly, _completely and utterly selfish of me to think so, to think like that at all._ Gavriel knew that his daughter wasn’t some trial for him; she was her own person and _obviously_ had a lot of deeply rooted trauma in her. Which he should have thought of, should have known, before he had even met her! If Aelin was anything to go by, he was sure there was no child left on this continent who was even in the slightest unaffected.

Heat burned at his eyes, not only from his incessant staring into the roaring fire, but also from the pain of unshed tears. Swallowing, he shifted slightly in his seat – the silence was so disquieting, he wished someone would say something, anything, if only for a distraction – and ran his right hand through his hair. Perhaps, he should go after her, find her and try and make her listen, to understand. _No,_ he refused himself, he could not indulge now in his instincts nor his own selfish desires – that would only serve to push Aedia away further.

She was completely entitled, he told himself, to be angry and hurt over all of this. The betrayal was double and so was doubly felt. In time, there may be the chance for him to be a friend – if nothing else – to her, but he told himself to let go of any expectations; yes, he wished to know his daughter, but he would not be so greedy and uncaring to force her to deny her feelings and be something to him. He couldn’t do that to her. Not after what he had already put her through.

Floorboards creaked as Aelin finally moved from her spot beside Rowan; her footsteps were soft and timid, reflecting the overall atmosphere of the parlour. Gavriel cringed slightly, he never usually acted like this, so helpless and pathetic. Gods, he was supposed to be the eldest of them all and here he was acting like a child.

“Gavriel…” Aelin whispered, crouching down in front of him now, his hands in hers as she gazed up at him, eyes full of repentant sorrow, “I’m so sorry, this is all my fault.” The young queen sighed, her brow furrowing as she looked at towards the floor, posture completely contrite and submissive. Swallowing, Aelin looked back up at him, a few tears slipping through her barrier to roll down her cheeks and drip on the floor. The silence was so deafening that the patter of them on the old floorboards sounded like a thunder clap. It felt as if even the world itself had quieted in respect for their troubles. “If only I had told her sooner, then she would have been able to process this all and… and maybe she wouldn’t have exploded like that. I’m so sorry, I take full responsibility. I knew that the subject of her mother… of her parents was a soft spot for her.”

Gavriel reached forward, her cheek falling into his palm. “Perhaps, you are right,” he murmured, tension momentarily pouncing on Aelin once more as if she were to be rebuked for the most heinous of crimes, “but Aedia seems to be rather annoyed outside of what you have done. Particularly at me.” The Lion settled back into the couch, pulling Aelin to sit with him. “No, I think this has been a long time coming – I should never have abandoned her mother… If I had been true and a good male then none of this would have ever happened.”

“She asked you to leave though,” Rowan softly reminded the ancient warrior from behind him, “and Maeve had called you back; she was already far too interested in where you had been for so long, what you been doing all that time. I say better for Aedia to be angry and safe now than whatever alternative lay ahead of her if you had known beforehand.” The other fae warrior marched round the settee, sitting down on Gavriel’s left and pulling his mate into his lap – though Aelin still held onto Gavriel’s hands. “I was there when you returned – you were distraught and you have been ever since you heard of her death. You’ve paid your time being morose about it all, now get over it and sort it out since you and her both think there’s something wrong in the first place.”

Aelin huffed in disbelief, “harsh but fair treatment, Whitethorn, can’t say I’m not surprised but I’m not sure I like it.”

The silver haired male shrugged, feeling unthreatened.

“Perhaps,” Gavriel only said again. This whole situation was complicated. Some days, he still woke up, thinking he was chained to Maeve and servient to whatever whims she had for him. It was all so new to him – to serve a young fae queen with such fresh ideals and who actually _cared_. Not just about her people and what she wanted, but for those who served her. Not to mention the added newfound confusion of having family. Sure, there were his older brothers, but he hadn’t spoken to them in decades. The other members of the cadre – as Aelin liked to call them – he had been close with, but they weren’t family. Brothers in arms, perhaps, but nothing like blood family. Or had they been some form of family, and he just hadn’t realised it? Rowan was here after all, in all accounts and purposes like a brother to him… He didn’t know anymore. It was all tangled up too far into confusion for him to be able to unknot it and figure it out.

Gavriel suddenly leapt up, tearing his hands from Aelin’s and beginning to pace right before the fire, the heat licking at his calves. There may have been a muttered “never seen him like this…” which he caught coming from Rowan, but he was too panicked to care. Running his hands through his hair for what felt like the umpteenth time – he knew he probably had a bird’s nest instead of an actual head of hair at this point and that it was also very likely that Aelin was struggling to contain her laughter – but he didn’t care. He didn’t have the brain capacity for anything other than the demands of his instincts, repeating _go after her, go after her, go after her; find her, protect her_ , over and over again in his brain like ricocheting debris from an explosion.

“Tie me down,” he blurted out, tone somehow deadpan and even despite the outburst. His tawny eyes stuck to Rowan’s pine green ones as he kept up his frantic pacing.

The other fae male choked, hands tightening on Aelin as if to use her as a human shield. “What?” he exclaimed sceptically.

“Just… I can’t go after her,” Gavriel explained, “I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate it and I do not wish to aggravate her further.” He quit his pacing, turning to face his old friend. “So, tie me down, lock me in a cupboard, I don’t care just _do something_?” His hands were in his hair again, he was looking across the room out the window on the right hand wall. It had started. _Damn it, why am I looking out the window? This isn’t helping_ , he moaned internally as his instincts practically begged he go after Aedia before she caught a cold.

His attention was not focused on either of the other two, so when Aelin came and wrapped her arms around his middle, he momentarily stiffened from the abrupt and unexpected contact. “Gavriel, we just have to believe it will turn out fine,” Aelin murmured against his chest as he slowly lifted his arms to wrap back around her, “We can talk to her tomorrow when she has a cool head and apologise to her. Aedia gets like this, she blows her top off and then you talk to her afterwards. We’ll be able to deal with it, all four of us, together.”

The Lion sighed, posture softening a fraction as he rested his head atop his niece’s. “Alright,” he murmured back, smiling at her faith and teased, “I trust in Your Majesty.”

“Oh gods…” Aelin groaned as she drew apart from him to give the older male a light slap on the arm. She laughed at his disapproving stare, before pulling Rowan up from his seat to where they stood and then embraced both of the fae males in a group hug. Rowan didn’t look pleased, his mouth pulled in a subtle grimace as he caught Gavriel’s gaze, but acquiesced – just because it was Aelin. Gavriel chuckled softly, the tension and worry for his child still bubbling away at the pit of his stomach, but the matter was out of his hands. He just had to have faith Aedia would forgive him in time.

If she never did, however, that would be okay with him too. So long as _he_ could be there for _her_.

* * *

The first thing Aedia did when she stumbled down the stairs and out of the ground floor’s doorway, was to scrabble to the nearest darkly lit alleyway and throw up whatever contents from her stomach she could onto the dingy street floor. The general knew that she could have simply blamed it on her drinking from earlier in the night, which probably to some extent _was_ the cause of her sudden illness, but there was no denying that the shock to her system was the real cause.

Aedia never would have thought that with the arrival of the two fae males would also come the arrival of her own father. She never thought that she’d ever even _meet_ her father. He had always been some non-existent entity that she knew she had, but never cared for. Anytime the thought of him had been brought up, it had coincided with other members of Aelin’s uncle’s court dismissing her, or making fun of her, or outright despising her. It was never a happy association, and there were no comforting memories to connect with the man either.

But now he was _here_ , and it was all _different_.

Aedia finally managed to get herself upright, her retching having stopped, and she once again peered up into the clear night sky, searching for the star that would take her home. If only she could just leave, return to the Staghorns and live out her days in solitude. Grimacing, the general ran her hands through her hair, feeling ashamed at the thought – she knew she couldn’t, she couldn’t abandon Aelin. That would be absurd. Even though at the moment they were obviously at odds, and Aelin might hate her now; she still couldn’t leave her cousin.

Dragging her feet forward, the general found herself walking further down the alleyway. Admittedly, she didn’t know where she was going, if there was even anywhere at all to go to. Yet, she continued to wander, losing herself to the twist and turns of her randomised route, finding solace in the chill night air and the cool light of the stars. It almost felt like home, particularly when it started to smell like rain.

Aedia knew she probably should have tried to find some sort of shelter as the rain became hevier and heavier the more she walked. _Perhaps Lysandra wouldn’t mind taking in a rotten miscreant for the night,_ the general thought, but it was fleeting and momentary – she couldn’t bother the poor woman this late at night, nor could she risk being sighted and sent to the gallows. The idea came to mind to find another pub and simply settle down for the night. She still had the winnings from her time at the gambling table – she could easily rent a room and drink her way through a tankard or two without any financial difficulty. But that idea didn’t particularly appeal to her either.

She didn’t exactly want to spend her night in a piss poor tavern, and she couldn’t go anywhere else. So she resigned herself to her fate for the night, continuing her slow amble through the streets, not knowing what her aim nor her destination was, only that it was the only option available to as the rain started to pour down. Her shoulders were quickly soaked through despite her thick cloak and jacket.

Whilst the sky continued on weeping, Aedia slowly turned over the recent events in her mind, trying to make sense of it all. It seemed ludicrous, as she knew it would for some time, that there was someone out there who would even be bold enough to claim themselves as her father. Add the fact that it was the Lion himself, that it was _Gavriel_ , who had just happened upon Aelin one day to later discover his connection with Aedia, it became all far too daft, like some lucid dream.

Rage lanced through her one again, as the final and only memory of her mother resurfaced. That wrecked and dying face in her memories the only thing she had left of the woman who had given her life, who had raised and cared for her for the first five years of her life. That was all she knew. No one had given a care to tell her anything else. She wished that she remembered something more than her death. Something inside Aedia told her that the woman who had been her mother had been undoubtedly strong and confident, a force to be reckoned with, and so to only know her in her final moments of weakness, it was a wound that she would never heal from.

The female general knew that this outburst of rage was not just from this one incident. There had been years and years of anger and hurt and betrayal built up into this outburst, the truth finally coming out and the most recent lie merely acting as a trigger to it all. Her emotions had merely caught her off guard – she knew that the subject of her mother, of her parentage, had always set her off, had known that there was a lot pain there. But it had never really struck her as so violent and ferocious. It had always been like a sleeping tiger; always there but never looked at or discussed or challenged. It just _was_.

 _What have I done?_ Aedia lamented, the realisation of her hot-headed reaction striking her to the core. Not only had she ruined whatever budding renewed relationship she had begun with Aelin, but now also whatever could have been with Gavriel. He had seemed so eager to talk to her. He hadn’t been scared off by whatever stories there were out there about her, perhaps he didn’t care about that type of thing? _Or maybe he just doesn’t know,_ Aedia told herself bitterly, _and the moment he finds out, that’s when he’ll show his true colours and give up on trying to get to know me._

It was safe to say, she thought, that she had well and truly fucked it all up. Why did she have to react the way she did? Why did she always react in anger at first and then get to her true feelings later? It never made any sense to her. The general swore that the only time she ever had a cool head was when she was in the midst of battle; she supposed that was the best place to have it if one could only have it in a singular situation, yet still, she despised her hot-headedness. She just… She just could have _done better_.

A failure, that’s what she was. Always.

The way she had spoken to them as well! Snapping like that? Like a child does when it’s in the midst of a temper tantrum? She was a general, had been a high ranking member of the Northern division of the Ardalanian Army, she had dealt with far worse situations than what had occurred in that apartment. She just knew that there could have been another way she had addressed the matter, another way to react to the news that hadn’t been pushing everyone close to her away. _Why am I like this?_ Aedia bemoaned once more, crossing her arms across herself as the chill permeated her further, the rain not relenting in its downpour.

The guilt was a monster in her head, picking up every little detail of the conversation, turning it over, examining it as if it were a situation of life and death, only to torture her over tiny differences of inflection or tone of voice, or particular phrasings of what she had said. She knew it was ridiculous, that is was pointless and would lead her to no satisfying end but her own torment. The general stilled to a stop, her feet planting themselves in the middle of a muddy street.

Looking around, even though there was a dense fog forming from the early morning air and the rain still continued to chuck it down – causing the ground to become even muddier – she found that she was somehow near the apartment, having circled back on herself at some point. _Perhaps this is some unknown force, some god or will of fate trying to tell me to go back_ , she mused sardonically.

Aedia knew she was only a street or two away. But something wasn’t right yet. She didn’t know what, yet she couldn’t bring herself to move. Yes, she felt guilty, but she knew there was a still a part of her that was angry. Not burning fiercely like a raging fire as it had been before, but still present, the roar dulled to embers now. If they were prodded in the right way, they might leap up into a full flame once more.

She had to ensure that didn’t happen. Even though she would not downplay her anger, nor would she allow the others a quick forgiveness, there was no way she couldn’t burn the only ones she had left.

 _Time to face the music,_ she thought and sighed, stealing herself one final time before she made her way slowly back to the apartment. Who knew what tomorrow would bring…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idek anymore if things are being paced too quickly but eh, we're here and I'm enjoying it 😂


	7. perfect places

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Let's just face it, at this point there's no action in my fic - it's all discussions. And this may be an obsession of mine but that's okay, I'm okay with that. 🙃✌🏻
> 
> So here we go! Another discussion, but this time round things go well for out faves 😌

Kitchens were, and had always been, cosy places for Aedia. She didn’t know why, but there was something about being able to cook – to provide for others and also be looked after by someone else – that settled some deep unease in her. After all, what problem couldn’t be solved with a hot bowl of good food? That was why she was there now, in the early hours of the morning, preparing breakfast for everyone who was still asleep.

When she had returned to the apartment – around an hour ago now – she had somehow managed to creak past the sleeping warrior before the fire without waking him. Gavriel had apparently decided to bunk down in front of the hearth for the night, taking pillows and a few blankets with him. The general supposed that in all his years serving for Maeve, he must have slept in far more uncomfortable places, yet still the sight had caused unease to churn in her stomach. Had he forgone the comfort of the only spare bed – essentially her bed at this point after a month of use – simply to avoid making her feel as if her space here in the apartment, her place in Aelin’s new court, was being threatened? To avoid encroaching on something he shouldn’t be? Or was it just that he probably didn’t want to rub her the wrong way for Aelin’s sake, and so had avoided another argument by refusing her room?

The thought had circled round in her mind for hours, sticking to her as she passed from task to task – changing out of her sopping wet clothes, hanging them up outside to dry, tidying her room from the muck she had brought in, quickly cleaning her shoes and now making breakfast – and made her shame resurface from the murky depths she had drowned it in. _Ugh_ , Aedia thought as she groaned aloud, _stop it. He didn’t take the room, so what?_ If only it could be as simple as telling herself that however. Unknown expectations from others had always been her deepest fear – she hated not knowing, not being able to plan in accordance and know what they expected her to do, how she was meant to act.

So the general tried to shove the thoughts away once again by focusing on the mushrooms that she was washing, her eyes flicking up to the clock to note the time. 9:35am.

Her attention broke momentarily, however, as the light patter of footsteps sounded as Aelin entered into the kitchen; she slowly approached where Aedia stood at the counter, now cutting the mushroom up to put in the pan along with the tomatoes, and then took up her own task of greasing another pan for the bacon. They worked in tandem, keeping silent all the while, for what felt like only a few seconds but must of somehow been longer because suddenly, the clock on the wall said that it was 10:02. By now, the bacon was sizzling away and it was only the toast that needed to be prepared.

“You’ll need to toast the bread on the fire,” Aedia softly reminded her cousin, watching Aelin’s face remain calm despite the sudden tension that flared between them at the thought of a conversation. The general could tell though – her cousin was tapping her fingers on the counter. Her one tell that she was overthinking.

The younger woman levelled her eyes with her cousin’s, “I want to talk to you first.”

Aedia nodded, she knew this was coming.

“First of all, and most importantly, I’m sorry Aedia,” the younger woman told her, placing a small hand on the general’s calloused one, “Truly. It was wrong of me to keep this from you, to decide that you weren’t ready to hear it. I got caught up in my own emotions, which meant that I failed to see things from anything other than my point of view. It was very wrong of me. I’m sorry.”

Aedia nodded at first, breathing deeply, her eyes flickering down to where her hands had been holding the pan, stirring the fried vegetables, trying to not become overwhelmed at the excitement she still got when she realised her cousin was here, and alive, and still loved her. “I can’t say I understand Aelin,” she started as her eyes blinked back up to the younger woman, “but I appreciate the apology, a lot.” The next words felt hard to get out. But if she didn’t, she would choke on them. “I’m also sorry. I completely flew off the handle… I just, I don’t even know…” Aedia trailed off, sighing, _still_ trying to figure out what exactly happened when the truth had been let out. “I was just so angry that you had lied to me. And then everything made sense – Rhoe and Evalin must have known, otherwise why else would they have been so strict on me when we were young? Which means they didn’t tell me… perhaps they had intended to at some point – we’ll never know now I suppose. I’m just so tired of being lied to, betrayed, being kept out of the loop… all of it.”

“I guess both of us are just too hard headed and far too used to being the only ones calling the shots,” Aelin supplied.

Aedia laughed, “You’ve got that right.”

“Come here,” Aelin said softly, stretching out her arms. Aedia all too quickly took her cousin up on the offer, descending into the younger woman’s arms and holding on for dear life. “We’ll be okay, won’t we?”

The question was quiet in the general’s ear. “Yes,” Aedia affirmed as she squeezed her cousin a bit tighter, “of course we will.” The general rested her head on Aelin’s, breathing out gently and just taking the moment for herself for once. When they eventually drew apart, Aedia kept her eyes trained on the younger woman, quickly plucking up the courage to say, “About Gavriel-”

“I won’t force you into anything, and I’m sorry I tried to last night,” Aelin said quickly, “Nothing is expected of you in regards to him – not from me at least. Whatever happens between you and him, is your business alone.”

The general nodded, her hands still gripping at Aelin’s biceps but her eyes had wandered, not able to look at her cousin for what she was to say next. “Did he want to…” Aedia began again, nervousness and embarrassment creeping into her tone slightly, “did he want to sleep on the floor? And not take the spare bed?”

The young queen almost flinched, clearly caught off guard by the question. “He didn’t want to stay in your room,” Aelin explained, gently, “Felt like it would be rude, an intrusion…” Aedia stared at her cousin in shock. When Aelin had mentioned that she had befriended and gained the loyalty of two fae warriors previously under Maeve, when she had told Aedia that it was none other than _the_ Rowan Whitethorn and the Lion _himself_ , she never would have guessed that _he_ would have been conscientious towards _her_. She was hardly used to that from most people in life, so to have such a legend – who she still couldn’t process as being her _father_ – be considerate towards her wasn’t something she had ever thought she would experience.

“Right,” the general mumbled, voice hoarse as she spoke the singular word that expressed her shock far better than her mask of an expression did. Aelin looked like she was about to question the older woman further on it all. Luckily, Rowan walked in at just that moment, rubbing at his eyes and looking as if he were still half asleep.

The young queen turned to her mate, beaming with joy, and asked, “sleep well?”

The male gave a small grin back and grumbled, “better than I have in a while. Who knew that travelling here and being cut off from magic would wear us out so much?” Rowan moved further into the kitchen and kissed Aelin on the cheek as a way of greeting. He then turned to Aedia, his pine green eyes pinning her down with their deep stare, and blinked – what Aedia would have described as almost owlish, if she knew his other form was not a hawk. “Good morning,” he finally settled on saying.

Aedia winced; she knew she must not have made a good impression last night.

“Good morning,” she returned the greeting. There was a pause, but only momentarily as the general turned to the hob and said, “I’ve made breakfast. I would join you now, but I need to take a shower.” She smiled tightly at them both and made her way to exit; as soon as her back was turned in her final few paces to the door, she heard Aelin giggle, which meant she just _had_ to say over her shoulder, “No fucking on the kitchen table.”

The general darted away after that, pretending not to hear the aggravated male growl reverberate throughout the apartment as she moved towards the bathroom as quick as she could.

* * *

Aedia grumbled, standing in her room in nothing but a towel, as she realised that the only long-sleeved top Aelin had managed to get for her so far, was what she had worn to the pub and so was probably still drying up on the roof. “Ugh,” the general groused once more, dropping her towel and dressing herself in the underwear and trousers she did have before binding her breasts and making her way to the metal staircase that led up to the roof from outside the hallway window.

There was rust in a few places on the outside staircase, and Aedia would be lying if she told anyone that she didn’t get a fright every time she went up it, thinking that it could give way at any moment. Despite her fears, she made it to the roof top, the sun painting her entire body golden with its early morning light.

Taking a breath and stretching for a moment with her eyes closed, the general paused to bask in the warmth of the sunlight, feeling its soft touch warm up her fatigued limbs. Rolling her shoulders, she hummed softly before opening her eyes and moving towards the washing line on the other side of the terrace. She liked mornings like this, where the sky was clear and the world was quiet. It reminded her of the mountains – everything seemed to at the moment. Usually, when she was away from the northern reaches of Terrasen, she was completely focused on the task at hand, the campaign she was on, the lives she had to protect. But now, in what felt like a vacation compared to the usual hectic rampage her life tended to be, she had all the time she wished at her disposal to _think_ , to wonder what truly mattered to her. What really made her… _happy_.

Sighing once again, the general tugged her shirt off of the line and quickly threw it on, before gathering the other clothes she had put out to dry not but a few hours before. She moved through the motions of it all very calmly, the world somehow soothing her with its soft early morning breezes and gentle beams of golden light.

That was util a crunch of gravel sounded out through the air from behind her.

Aedia whirled, dropping everything in her arms to the floor, her hand flying to her side to reach for a weapon that wasn’t there. But instead of some vehement attacker, there was only Gavriel. Aedia groaned out loud, the sound morphing into shocked laughter as she exclaimed, “by the stars! You almost gave me a heart attack!”

“Oh,” Gavriel murmured sheepishly, a timid smile stretching his lips as his hands immediately started fidgeting _again_ , “You have my apologies.”

“When did you even get up here?” Aedia immediately asked, her tone chiding but also filled with amusement, as she picked up the clothes she had dropped. When she rose back up, she witnessed him look away awkwardly, not replying. “You’ve been up here this whole time, haven’t you?”

The male nodded.

“Wow,” she huffed in disbelief, “a few months cooped up inside and I’m losing my touch.”

He still remained silent, his face only turned to her three-quarters of the way, as if he wanted to face her, talk to her, but didn’t know if he was permitted to. Once Aedia had picked everything up from the floor, it seemed he finally decided what he was doing and engaged her in conversation. “When did you get back?” the question was so tentatively spoken – soft, just like the morning – it made something inside Aedia whimper and ease up, forcing her to forgo her apprehension for a moment.

“A few hours ago,” Aedia told him, shifting everything in her arms under the guise of getting a better grip on the clothes. Really she just needed something to do to distract her focus from wholly being on him for a moment, a silly attempt to make herself feel slightly in control of the situation. All she received back was another silent nod.

If this was how all conversations would go – where getting him to talk was as easy as getting blood from a stone – the general didn’t know how worthwhile it would be.

Then he surprised her again in asking another question. “Were you alright? You…” he trailed off, his unease palpable, making her feel cramped despite the open space they were in, “You weren’t hurt or anything? You were safe?”

Aedia almost dropped the clothes again. She felt numb from the shock of the emotional whiplash she got every and any time she was in this male’s presence. Scientifically speaking, that had only been twice (well, thrice if she was to count when she was conceiv- _no, don’t think about that, Aedia_ , she scolded herself mentally) in her life and as such there wasn’t a pattern yet, but the general had a very big hunch that this would be the case.

She then realised how long the moment had stretched out for and that she had been practically gaping like a fish the whole time.

“I’m sorry, I know I’m overstepping.”

Clearing her throat, she protested, “That’s alright.” Fortunately, her voice came out in an even keel. She could have kissed the floor for the small miracle. Wincing again, as she realised she still hadn’t answered his questions, she shifted the load in her arms once more and replied, “Yes, I was fine. The only thing that bothered me was the rain – and even then not much; I’m used to wet weather.”

Again, another nod was her only response.

 _Right,_ Aedia told herself, mouth forming a thin line as she fought against whatever silly disappointment bled through her heart, _that’s enough of this torture_. He had been so eager to discuss things last night, she must have ruined everything already with her temper tantrum. _That’s a record,_ Aedia sighed mentally, _even for you._ The general gestured to the stairs awkwardly, as she told Gavriel “I’m just going to go back inside,” before moving towards the rusting metal contraption once again.

It was then, when her back was turned to him, one foot on the platform of the staircase, the other still planted on the rough surface of the roof, that he said her name. “Aedia.” She turned around hesitantly to regard him; still fidgeting and unsure, but overall, somehow he was eased slightly.

 _Perhaps he was really worried about you…_ a voice inside her head whispered, but she shushed it so as to focus on what he was obviously trying to say.

“I have been waiting since the moment I found out about you to be able to meet you, to be able to talk to you. I’ve been expecting this for a while and of course that has given me the fortune of being able to process all of this. That’s not to say that I’m not nervous or excited, but just that I have had the time to be able to understand how I feel about everything, about what I expect from this.”

 _Right,_ Aedia thought as she levelled her footing back onto the rooftop floor, securing her stance into a solid position, _expectations._ Even though she knew that he wasn’t finished talking, that he was trying to get somewhere in order to apologise (she knew it was coming, it was prevalent in his tone), her mind couldn’t help itself from picking apart the minefield that was his beginning speech. _How he feels about everything? What does that mean?_ Aedia worried internally as her brow furrowed, her blue eyes still trained on him resolutely, watching his every move. Did that mean that at some point he had despised her very existence, cursed the connection they shared, cursed that he had a child he never wanted? Or did it mean that he’d recently re-evaluated his opinion, having discovered all the despicable things she had done for her country, and decided that she wasn’t worth the time he previously thought she was?

 _Fuck_.

But still she remained patient, and finally he said, “But I realised last night that it doesn’t matter. What I think that is. Nor does it matter what I want from this. I…” His hands really did have a life of their own as they wrung each other red and raw. “It was selfish of me to think only of what I wanted and how I felt about you being my daughter. You of course have your own thoughts and feelings, your own wants and wishes regarding our relationship, and it would be wrong of me to assume anything or make you do anything based on my own hopes.” He was still looking off into the distance, obviously following something with those tawny eyes of his. “So,” he began, swallowing tightly, eyes tearing up with emotion, “ you don’t have to worry about anything from me. Not that you need me to tell you this, but you have free reign to do as you please, to feel however you wish to regarding me. I won’t mind; it’s not my choice to make. I will simply be pleased knowing that you are safe and well, and that you are living happily alongside your cousin.”

There. He had said what he apparently wanted to say. Aedia was surprised he had managed to finish at all, his distraught clear on his face. Some horrible voice in the back of her head told her that his upset was over having to give her up, over doing something he didn’t want to do, that it wasn’t really because he cared about causing her any sorrow. _No,_ Aedia refused to listen to it, _no, he’s clearly upset because he thinks he’s made some massive overstep that could never be redeemed._ The proof was there; between him approaching her cautiously (of course not including the almost-heart-attack incident) and outright _saying_ that he did not wish to infringe on her in any way, she couldn’t let herself be so cruel and give into such fragile and insecure thoughts, to ruin everything before it begun.

Aedia loosed a breath, shoulders dropping. She placed the clothes in her arms over the railing of the staircase. Gavriel’s eyes snapped back to her, wanting to see her reaction. Crossing the floor, she stopped about a foot away from him, her head tilted back slightly to be able to look up into his face from her marginally lower vantage point. Her assessing eyes wandered over his features; the taught brow, the pulled down lips, the concern-filled eyes. Then she glanced down to his hands. _Still fidgeting,_ she mused.

 _Trust him,_ the better part of her – the part that believed in Aelin, the part that had helped fae refugees over the years, had fought countless fake battles and lied a million times to keep others safe at the expense of herself – told her. Perhaps it was her fae instincts, perhaps it was just good common sense after being presented with trustworthy evidence. But no matter what it was, it was _there_ and she agreed wholeheartedly. Gavriel was not a bad person, he was here to help. And he would help her, even if she didn’t recognise him as a father. If she had spat in his face and cursed him to his grave, he still would have done anything for her.

_For her._

Eventually, she crossed her arms, leant back on one foot and smiled. “I can see why Aelin likes you,” Aedia mused, “You’re a good male.”

He blushed, actually _blushed_.

The Lion of Doranelle was _blushing_.

“Thank you,” he murmured, looking awkwardly at anything but her, clearing his throat softly as the tears swam at the edge of his eyes again.

“ _Oh_ ,” Aedia laughed, his eyes quickly catching back onto hers and remaining there at her tone, drawn under her magnetic gaze, “don’t thank me yet. You might just change your mind when you realise what a hellion I am.”

Gavriel smiled, “Never.”

“Well, in for a penny, in for a crown I guess,” Aedia chuffed, turning back to the stairs, “Now be useful and help me bring these clothes back down, so we can eat breakfast.” He all too easily accepted.

And that may or may not have made her all warm and fuzzy on the inside.

* * *

After Gavriel had helped her fold all the clothes and put them away where they needed to be, wherein he may have had a small breakdown upon entering Aelin’s excessive wardrobe (in other words, he had just stopped and stared at the many articles of clothing, whilst “I know,” had been all Aedia provided as explanation of her views on the subject), the two had made their way to the kitchen and had some breakfast. There may have been a badly-disguised shocked stare that had come their way from Rowan, but no one mentioned anything.

Aedia wasn’t sure whether she liked this or not now that she was in the middle of the ‘no one but Aedia can give their opinion and if you do, you’re kicked out of the club’ nonsense. She didn’t want to feel as if she were in the middle of a fish bowl, everyone tapping at the glass in curiosity for her opinion, but not reaching in and pulling out the truth of her feelings. The general did not wish to be watched and catalogued for her every movement, for everyone to have an opinion of what was going on between her and Gavriel and yet not say anything.

Not being able to know everything was increasingly difficult, she found.

Yet that was not the case at the moment, however, as she stood leant against the countertop, drinking her cup of tea after having finished her breakfast (still a relatively small portion in consideration to her stomach recovering from its near starvation) and enjoying the small talk of the morning. It was all so open and free. Hardly what she thought would have happened. The general expected an immediate run down, everyone acting all ‘let’s get to business’, with hardly any down-time at all. Instead, Aelin had so far asked Gavriel how he had slept and how he was feeling after coming to Erilea, being cut off from his magic and all. In return, he had informed the room that he felt like the dead walking, even a few days later after arriving.

 _Slept like the dead too,_ Aedia mused, but refrained from saying so as she clamped her lips and buried her face in her mug of tea. Rowan may have run a knowing eye over her face, but he too chose the wiser option and remained silent on the matter.

“I still feel like shit, thanks for asking Aelin,” Rowan supplied, mostly talking in the younger woman’s ear rather than to the room at large, and it seemed more than just _talking_ somehow. Especially when the mated pair looked into each other’s eyes and proceeded to eye fuck shamelessly. The general tried not to stare too much – the last time her cousin had been interested in anyone, they had still been getting baths from and being dressed by adults. Of course, that was not to say that Aedia had any bearing on who Aelin could or could not see, and vice versa, but just that it was another adjustment Aedia had to accustom herself to. Fortunately, Gavriel decided to put a stop to it all.

“Would you refrain from doing that when you’re not alone?” The Lion sounded exasperated, as if he had told them this countless times. His tone was too soft and full of amusement; it frightened her. Somehow, Aedia envisaged a full lecture hall with a prepared and properly referenced line of reasoning as to why they shouldn’t be so free with their affections in public. If it was Aedia on the receiving end of that tone and – from what she could guess from her vantage point behind the golden male – stare, the general would have immediately let go and jumped to the other side of the continent.

Aelin, on the other hand, decided to take the bull by the horns. “So… why didn’t you cut your hair like Rowan did?” She glanced at him cheekily, “Is it because you didn’t want your kitty cat form to be shaved?”

Aedia choked on her tea, coughing for a moment or two as she tried to regain her breath.

Rowan sighed, sounded exasperated, despite the amusement that shone in his eyes, “I told you, Fireheart, that’s not how it works.”

 _At least they’re not doing_ that _now,_ was all Aedia could think as Gavriel let out another one of his exasperated sighs™ - they seemed increasingly frequent since he had eased up a bit after Aedia’s and his discussion on the roof. _Perhaps “bored of Ashryver antics” is his version of happy and sighing is how he expresses it_ , the general thought, once again hiding her face behind her mug. She was rather enjoying her newfound hobby of observing and analysing the trio, how they interacted with one another, the push and pull of their relationship. But she was also deeply afraid of the pull inside herself, which demanded she interact and join in with them. Of course, with Aelin there was a reason, a familiarity that comforted her… regarding the two males however, it made no sense as to why she would feel so drawn to them.

 _Well, it does when you think about it, Aedia,_ she chastised herself. Technically speaking, this was her family – her blood. Yet – of course, again excluding Aelin – she wasn’t ready at that moment to be able to acknowledge that truth fully. Perhaps it was silly and stubborn of her, but she had to take some time to get used to all of this; just over a month ago, she had thought she was about to die, alone and without anyone who cared for her. Now, not only was her cousin here, but her cousin’s mate – thereby technically making Rowan her brother (if anyone were to doubt the claim of sisterhood between Aelin and Aedia, they obviously didn’t know either of them very well) – and also someone she would have never expected to even care about her (let alone show up). Her father.

It was inconceivable.

Aedia reasoned that this desire within herself was mainly due to her (most) recent death experience – not that those were an unfamiliar occurrence to her, just that this one was particularly bad – as well as because of the return of her cousin and their reunion. It all had made the general unpredictably sappy. She tore herself from this line of thinking, not wanting to explore the avenue further for just a little longer, allowing herself to rest in denial and ill-conceived comforts.

By now, in the meanwhile of all her inner ramblings, the three of them were once again grumbling, and supporting one another in said grumbling, about the loss of magic and how awful it felt to be without what was essentially the core of your very being. Aelin explained that it was the tower in the palace’s gardens, one of three, that kept magic locked up on the continent of Erilea. That soon, she planned to destroy it, but that there were other things to do first.

“Like killing those dog things I’m guessing?” Aedia suggested. What her cousin had told her about them sounded awful. The general would rather face down a bunch of ghost leopards than ever have the misfortune of fighting wyrdhounds.

Gavriel turned slightly to face her, “Dog things?”

“Wyrdhounds,” Aedia amended, whilst in the back of her mind chastising herself for sounding so immature and ill spoken. There was a slight pause as the Lion nodded silently, turning back around to face Aelin, who was all-too-ready to jump in and explain what she had seen.

“It might be hard to kill them then, without the aid of magic,” Rowan theorised, his mouth set in a grim line. Gavriel nodded, suggesting perhaps that they wait to deal with them until after the destruction of the tower. “They might present themselves as a problem before then, though,” Rowan countered, going on to remind Gavriel, “remember how hard it was for Aelin to destroy those Valg princes at Mistward? From what we’ve heard, it seems these creatures are even stronger – to deal with them sooner rather than later is the best approach, in my book.”

“I for one, think that with or without magic, it will be a challenge,” Aelin explained, “I almost burnt out at Mistward, and if you hadn’t stepped in and aided me through the carranam bond, I doubt we would have succeeded at all that night.” The terminology was lost of Aedia, despite Aelin having explained everything that happened during her training at the Fae fortress during the summer months.

Rowan, sitting directly across from where she stood, easily caught her confused silence on the subject and asked, “Did you have magic before it fell?”

Aedia stilled. The sudden change in conversation made the temperature in the room drop a few degrees. Catching Aelin’s apologetic gaze, Aedia took a sip of her tea to delay in answering for a while longer. _This mug is becoming the biggest espionage prop in the world considering how much I’m using it to hide,_ Aedia joked, taking her time to weigh up the options of how she could go about answering this question. Failing to notice Gavriel’s gaze on her, Aedia went with option one: passive aggressive retort. “Would it matter if I did?”

Gavriel let out a sound. Almost like a whimper. The general was pretty sure he had started to sweat. “No,” Rowan explained slowly, “Some of the greatest warriors I’ve ever met have never had access to magic, or have been mortal.”

Aedia shrugged, deciding to be more diplomatic in her response this time around. “No, I didn’t. Or at least,” she elaborated, her eyes flickering to the supportive look of her cousin, “not like Aelin. Some fae commented that I was exceedingly fast and strong, especially considering that it was believed I had very little fae blood.” It didn’t need to be clarified that the reason was now obvious, when he was sitting in the room with them himself. “But other than that…” she shrugged again, deciding to finish off her tea rather than focus on the two fae male’s reactions.

“Yes well, as Rowan said,” Gavriel spoke softly, slowly, as if talking to an injured animal, “it doesn’t matter whether or not you have magic; especially not with all the stories I’ve heard about your prowess.” Aedia turned to her cousin and smiled, an eyebrow arched questioningly.

Aelin looked sheepish as she muttered, “…they may have come up at some point?”

The general shook her head and rolled her eyes.

“Not that there was much to tell, since I knew very little about what you had been doing,” Aelin reminded the older woman, as if that made it any better. Aedia supposed it did. She still had some semblance of control over the information the two males were given. The general simply had to make sure that it was all uncovered on her own terms. “Anyway,” Aelin broke the focus away from her cousin for a moment, “we should probably get going. I’ve already sent a letter to Lysandra, asking her to bring extra clothes for you two. I was thinking perhaps, I should ask her to get a cot for you, so you’re not sleeping on the floor all the time?”

“I would appreciate that very much,” Gavriel affirmed, “Thank you, Aelin.” The young queen beamed at him.

Aedia jumped in before she could stop herself, “You’re okay with sleeping in the parlour?” He turned to her, face only slightly puzzled at the question, but otherwise rather open and engaging – as if silently telling her it was alright to continue. “The spare room is big enough for two.”

His eyes bugged. “Oh… No, don’t worry. I like sleeping by the fire,” Gavriel explained, “I don’t mind staying there.”

“Is that because cats like sleeping by fires?” Aedia thought aloud. It was only a moment later that she realised all three pairs of eyes – tawny, pine and Ashryver blue – were pinned on her, shock evident in each of their depths.

Eventually, it was Gavriel who spoke, “I think you’re worse than Aelin.” And then he, of course, winces, panic flashing over his face as he realises how his words could be interpreted.

“Who do you think she got it from?” Aedia questioned without missing a beat, sending a wink towards her cousin, who replied in kind with a shit-eating grin that could challenge the gods.

Rowan looked between the two fair haired females and then turned to Gavriel, his expression slightly horrified, and asked in the most deadpan of deadpan tones, “Gavriel, what exactly have we gotten ourselves into?”

The golden male simply grinned and replied immediately, “The best thing that could have happened to us.”

“Or the worst,” both Ashryver women countered at the same time. They all laughed as the early morning sunlight beamed in through the kitchen window, filling the room up with warmth. Rowan pulled Aelin closer, the young woman snuggling into his chest as he kissed the top of her head. Aedia glanced at the other male in the room. Their eyes caught, and something passed between them. Understanding. Respect. Hope. Aedia dipped her head in acknowledgement of it all, Gavriel responding in kind. The general smiled, feeling that same fuzziness from earlier fill her up, like the sunlight did the room.

It was nice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eeeeeek I'm so happy with this chapter!!! I'm sorry it's a bit late (I had written this yesterday (??) and had planned to also get it up then too but stuff happened and I was tired because ya girl is sleep deprived) but I'm honestly so happy with how this turned out!!
> 
> Also, I have been constantly worrying this whole time writing it, that I am somehow rushing the progression of Aedia's and Gavriel's relationship. But I've thought about it - and tried to incorporate my reasoning into the chapter itself so everything doesn't seem so out of character when compared to how their relationship developed canonically - and in this AU, Gavriel would have a lot of time to process everything and would be much readier to actually use *logic* rather than *insticts* at first to guide himself through it all.
> 
> As for Aedion/Aedia, I think the two major blocks in canon were: that Gavriel had (from Aedion's point of view) abandoned his mother (which ofc we didn't get round to here, but trust me it's going to come up at some point), and also that Gavriel was allied to Maeve. Here ofc, Gavriel is allied with Aelin, and I think for Aelin's cousin, that is a big plus - not just because Gavriel has therefore looked after and helped Aelin, but also because that means he's probably a good person/trustworthy etc. as Aelin wouldn't go around just letting anybody into her court. She ain't no fool. In addition to that, we know that Aedion has a profound respect for Rowan/Gavriel/the cadre members, so I think that has a big part to play here in helping them find a common ground and to develop that familial relationship.
> 
> But yeah, I hope that makes sense and that I got it across properly!! Like I said, this was by the far the best chapter to write and I have so many sub-plot bunnies (that are very fluffy bunnies at that) that I want to incorporate and ugh I CANNOT WAIT LIKE 😋 It's going to be veryyyyy excitingggg 🥳
> 
> As always, thank you so much for checking this fic out!!


	8. journey to the cross-roads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rowan and Aedia train, the gang talk and bond.
> 
> OR: Discussions. Some sparring. More discussions. Revelations and back stories. Then more discussions and inner monologues. Nothing new at this point lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I just want to say I am so so so sorry that it took me so long to get this chapter up! Life has just been so crazy since going back to uni - there have been many problems and set backs. But I'm hoping second semester will be better and that I might be able to upload whilst studying - though I cannot make any promises!
> 
> I really hope you enjoy this chapter - I think it's the longest I've written for this fic, so maybe it was worth the wait?? Although I feel really out of practice with writing now after 4 (?) months, I think this went rather well and I'm pretty happy with it! So I hope you enjoy and Happy New Years to everyone 😌

“She’s only just graduated to walking around and going outside, I don’t think she should be training Rowan,” Aelin protested before it all got out of hand. The young queen was calling down at her mate from the top of the stairs; Aedia couldn’t see her cousin’s face but she knew, like how she knew the sky was blue, that Aelin was glowering down at her handsome fae male with all the strength she had.

Her cousin’s words finally caught up with her, however, and Aedia squawked indignantly, “I’m fine! I’ve gone into battle with worse than this so don’t mollycoddle me.”

“Alright,” Aelin deadpanned, arms crossed and eyebrow raised, “how much pain are you in then?”

“The normal amount.”

Gavriel whirled round to face her then, explaining very clearly and firmly, “The normal amount of pain is _none_.”

Aedia stared in shock. Luckily she recovered soon enough to drawl, “Well, looks like someone woke up on the wrong side of the litterbox this morning.” Shoving past the duo – who were effectively blocking the way to the stairs – the general plodded down to the ground level of the warehouse, tying her hair up as she went. She found Rowan shoving aside the many empty boxes to create a space – he turned to acknowledge her, an eyebrow raised. Aedia shrugged and helped him move the crates.

Soon enough, the mollycoddling duo arrived as well, the space was cleared and Rowan was pushing Aedia through basic katas. It was a while before anyone spoke and the silence was nice. Welcome even. Especially for Aedia. She missed silence above all else. The soft sounds of the bay in the dark evenings were comforting; the creak of the ships in their docks as the night winds blew through the ports of Rifthold, with the occasional squawk of a seagull or the slumping footsteps of a drunkard. They were fine, but they were no Staghorn Mountains.

Aedia missed the stars of the Terrasen sky; she missed the smell of pine that permeated the air of her northern home. It was just so fresh and clear up there. Pure. Down here everything was polluted by the stench of that rotten king who held the continent in his grip. That was why she had to train; she _had_ to get better, to help Aelin tear him from his glass throne and bring him down to where he belonged. Amongst the filth he created.

So she threw herself into the katas Rowan guided her through, threw herself into sparring with him and quickly adopted all the little adjustments he gave her. At some level, it was mortifying, to be watched by Aelin and Gavriel, for them to see her as weak as she was knocked down time and time again by her cousin’s mate. But the embarrassment would be worth it in the long run she knew, worth it to see that slimeball wrecked and ruined once and for all. At least, that’s what she told herself as she was yet again knocked to the dusty floor.

“Shit,” she breathed out. Dropping her head to the floor, the general attempted to catch her breath, inhaling deep and long before heaving herself up again.

Rowan just looked at her though, not moving as Aedia positioned herself once more. “Are you usually in combat hand to hand?” he suddenly asked. The general straightened herself up, astounded at the sudden questioning and change of pace. She swallowed and flicked her eyes over to where Gavriel stood, watching him watching her. His face was as blank as usual, a mask for it all it was worth. Aedia wondered what it would take to make that façade break.

“No, not usually,” she replied slowly, her eyes fixed on Rowan’s, “why?”

It was then that her father decided to jump in, “You sometimes look a bit out of place during your sparring.”

Aedia frowned, opening her mouth to reply.

“Not that you’re performance isn’t above par!” he rushed to say, nervous fidgeting sparking once more, “You are doing very well, especially considering your recent injuries. It just appears as if this isn’t your forte, I suppose you could say…” he trailed off, looking away and rubbing the back of his neck. Aelin smirked as she watched the older warrior from his side, looking on the edge of unbridled glee. The general could tell her cousin was holding back an obnoxious bout of laughter. Aedia sighed.

_He just makes it so hard to_ not _like_ _him,_ she thought, wishing she could groan at the farce of it all. Turning back to Rowan, she explained more clearly this time, “I haven’t been a foot soldier for a while. Not since I was 16.” Allowing that information to sink in, she paused, regarding his stone cold expression. Which remained stone cold. Shrugging, she elaborated, “I take command of the cavalry in my legion. Although sometimes I leave it to one of my centurions if I am needed elsewhere.”

Rowan remained standing there, arms crossed, face stoic. “Cavalry…?” he eventually got out.

Aedia blinked, unsure of what he was asking. “Yes…” her gaze flicked over to Aelin, equally as bemused as she was, “the cavalry.”

“What is a cavalry?” Gavriel asked, voice hesitant and almost faint in the stale air of the warehouse’s ground level floor.

Aedia blinked. And blinked again. “Sorry, I’ve never had to explain a cavalry before.” She cleared her throat, sending a message to Aelin asking for help with a worried gaze. Unfortunately, this was something she had to do on her own. “A cavalry,” she began slowly, returning her gaze to Gavriel, “is a portion of an army, or legion in my case, where the soldiers ride into battle on horseback. They utilise long spears and the act of charging to try and break apart any shield walls or lines of men – or even the cavalries of opposing forces – and if they succeed, they chase down the retreating side.”

“Hmph,” Rowan voiced, Aedia turning her gaze back to him, daring the male to say something, “Doesn’t sound too frightening.”

“Well maybe not to you flyboy, but to us wee mortals who can’t transform and soar away into the beautiful open reaches of the great blue sky, it can be a pretty daunting experience.” Aedia grumbled, crossing her arms and using all her willpower to not stick her nose up in the air and storm off.

Aelin chose that moment to perk up, “You also have to remember, buzzard, that my dear cousin here was trained by the Iverni, who have the best-known cavalry in the continent… if not the world.”

_Thank the gods she’s on my side,_ Aedia silently prayed, thinking it was over. Until of course, Gavriel dared another question.

“Who are the Iverni?”

Pursing her lips, she pondered on how much she ought to tell the older warrior about, what was essentially, her adoptive family. Would his instincts rise again, making him become protective like he had when she had stormed off that night? The general still wasn’t sure how much she could trust the male even after he had apologised; an apology did not mean she would throw all of her turmoil out the window, move on and forget about it all. Sometimes at night she was still haunted by the sight of her mother’s dying face, how wan and pale it had been compared to its usual golden colour. It was something Aedia knew she might never be able to let go. And now that the cause of such pain was here – it hadn’t taken too long for her to figure out that the only reason her mother refused the fae healers must have been because of her daughter’s parentage – she couldn’t back away from it. It was like trying to run from an avalanche of snow. The end of this all was inevitable and she knew she’d be crushed by it.

But when you had been running for so long, how were you supposed to stop?

The compromise was the only thing keeping her sane at the moment; their mutual agreement to play nice (as unspoken as it was) whilst they committed themselves to the utmost important task of supporting Aelin and getting done what she needed to, was a nice wall keeping all of that snow and ice at bay from breaking her. So, she drew in a breath, and began to describe her childhood home, “well, I suppose you could call them a tribe? They live in the north, beyond the Staghorns. There are many tribes up there, all with their own unique differences. The Iverni’s is that they are an all-female tribe, most of whom focus on military matters or honing their warrior skills, often taking in those exiled or rejected by their own, though some copulate and have children – the men are never of the Iverni however. I was fortunate enough to be rescued by a general of theirs after the Fall of Ornyth. Essentially, they are like family; their home is my home, their people my people. I grew up and trained there, although not all welcomed me and I had to fight for my right to stay half the time. Some of their members are also soldiers in my army, though typically they prefer to stick to their own ranks.”

“A whole tribe of female warriors? That explains a lot,” Gavriel mused once Aedia had finished. He even managed to say it without wincing or rushing to clarify himself like he tended to – which was fortunate for Aedia, who couldn’t stand it when he did that. What appeared to calm him more – there was some tension caught up in his shoulders somehow – was Aedia laughing.

“Yes,” she chuffed, “they are very independent thinking with strong traditions. They taught me to have a strong sense of self, which was related heavily to my position as a warrior, a military leader. It’s how they live – even a tribe member’s armour is inherently linked to a person’s personality in their culture.”

“How so?” Rowan further probed.

Aedia hadn’t realised the large (for them that is) audience she had drawn up for herself – even Aelin was interested! And that was when the general realised that she had been rather stingy on details about it all with her cousin. Ignoring the slight twinge of guilt, she carried on, “A tribe member – a _laoch baineann_ as they call it in the native language of Terrasen – forges their own armour once they pass their trials. Well, it is in itself a trial I suppose. But yes, once you are worthy, you are able to design and forge your own armour. There are other similar things a _laoch baineann_ can do when growing up also, such as raising your own steed from a foal. Things like this, they help form stronger bonds, which they claim makes a warrior that much stronger compared to their enemy.”

“And you did this?” Gavriel asked, voice tinted with surprise and – dare she say? – reverence.

“Indeed I did,” Aedia beamed with pride, remembering when her foal had been trained as best as it could, when she had completed her armour. They were shining memories in the dark sea of her past. “Though both my armour and horse were lost when I was captured.”

Gavriel nodded solemnly, seeming to understand the enormous weight of that loss all too well, she thought.

Rowan quickly picked the topic back up, however, not allowing the grave silence to settle like how the dust of the warehouse had on the crates and floor. “You said native language of Terrasen?”

Aelin laughed at that, her cousin sending her a chiding look. “The tribes that live north of the Staghorns assert that they were here before the time of Brannon, and that their peoples, culture and language are the true heart of the land. Though some,” Aedia sent another withering look to the young queen, “believe this to be false.”

“And you?” Gavriel softly needled.

“It is not for me to decide,” Aedia replied diplomatically.

“But that’s why you have such a strong accent I’m guessing?” Rowan butted in as his old friend blinked at Aedia in quiet contemplation – or scrutiny? Aedia was not very good at telling the male’s facial expressions apart, any of them could easily look like the other! “I noticed you and Aelin say some things similarly, but yours is far more prominent – almost rawer in a sense.”

Aedia chuckled, “That’s a good way to describe it – I’ve been told I sound like a talking dog who swallows their vowels half the time.” She decided to ignore the way Gavriel’s face pulled into a frown. “So,” Aedia began, rolling her shoulders, “another round?”

Rowan huffed and allowed a smirk to form on his face, “I was thinking more about lunch.” Aedia hummed, beginning to argue; she knew she was tired. But that had never stopped her before.

“He’s right, Aedia,” Aelin softly intervened, “We could all do with some food and a break.” Sighing, the general mumbled a “fine” and trudged back up the stairs right behind her cousin. The young queen was quick to ascend and enter her apartment, moving gracefully through the front room to the kitchen. Rowan followed, hot on her heels; the male always seemed like he had been separated from Aelin for centuries, like he hadn’t been able to breathe for ages, and was now only able to feel comfortable again. The older Ashryver woman was just glad her cousin had someone who was as devoted to her as she deserved.

Even if that someone was like a lost puppy.

“I’m just going to clean up quickly.” Aedia turned to the hallway; Gavriel did not voice his acknowledgement but she knew he had heard all the same. _I suppose I have a puppy of my own who’s always at my heels,_ she mentally sighed, wondering when she would get space to breathe again.

Entering the bathroom, Aedia noted that everything was where it should be – an old habit she had picked up from the war camps. Sometimes people liked to take what didn’t belong to them. A habit of Adarlan warriors alone she was sure. Trying to focus on her present and wash as quickly as she could, the general filled the basin with warm water, rubbing the soap bar she had snatched from Aelin’s supplies against a cloth, to then massage at her sore muscles. Perhaps she was far more tired and aching than she had let on.

Soon enough, she was marching back through the apartment to the kitchen, donning new leggings and knitted socks with a cosy over-sized jumper. As she proceeded into the kitchen, she caught Rowan saying, “…always says she’s like her mother. If that were true, I don’t understand why, then, he ever thought that you were his daughter.”

“What?” Aedia gushed out, laughter bubbling on her lips, Rowan looking almost – _almost_ – scandalised, with his mouth agape and Aelin staring up at him in jest. Just as she was about to question him further however, Gavriel entered with a slightly damp Lysandra in tow. “Did you really think Aelin was your daughter?”

The question seemed to shock the older fae, whose focus appeared to be completely elsewhere; he stood their flabbergasted, once again just blinking before staring at Aedia like she was something completely unheard of. “Good morning to you too, Aedia,” Lysandra mumbled, moving further into the kitchen, shaking the rain droplets off her fur coat, before sitting down on a rickety chair.

“Morning, Lysandra,” Aedia threw the greeting good-naturedly over her shoulder, half focusing as she passed one of the cups of tea that had been brewing on the side to the newcomer, before turning back to her father, “So, did you?”

“Erm…” Gavriel glanced over her shoulder, to where Rowan and Aelin stood, “…yes?”

Aedia scoffed, “that must have made sharing your bed with her delightful.”

Lysandra choked on her hot drink.

Rowan passed her a napkin whilst Aelin patted her on the back calmingly. “I promise,” the queen spoke seriously, “we’re not that type of royal family.” Aedia smirked even harder at that; between Lysandra’s reaction and Gavriel going as white as a sheet, this couldn’t have gone any better than she had expected. “And Aedia,” Aelin said, slapping her cousin on the shoulder as she journeyed back to the counter, “stop giving Gavriel grey hairs and sit down.”

The general chuckled lowly, sending a wink to Lysandra as she passed to the table.

Soon enough, they were all sat down at the table with lunch, tucking into their meals and conversing lightly with one another. “I’ve brought those clothes and that cot for you Aelin; they’re all downstairs.” Lysandra waved her fork at the kitchen door, showing a rare moment of gracelessness. “Sorry I wasn’t able to bring them all upstairs.”

“That’s alright,” Aelin replied, “Sure the boys won’t mind doing some heavy lifting.”

Gavriel, who was currently at the kitchen sink washing his plate up, pitched in dryly, “Ah yes sorry, I was meant to bring them up but between Aedia being a… what did you say? A-”

“-hellion-” the general provided.

“Right yes, that,” Gavriel cleared his throat, “And my surprise at Lysandra being a shifter, it slipped my mind.”

Lysandra’s cutlery clattered down on the plate as she once again started choking. “Gods!” Aelin exclaimed as she moved to help her friend for the second time. After some time had passed and Lysandra had recovered, the kitchen was deathly quiet, whatever warmth from before having long since faded away.

“How did you know?” Lysandra managed to weakly get out, her eyes fixing on Gavriel’s.

He was yet again as pale as a sheet, probably panicking about the upset he has caused. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise…” Gavriel swallowed tightly, catching Aedia’s sympathetic look, “It was your scent. Could tell right away.”

“Oh, that’s what that smell is?” Aedia blurted out, before wincing and sending an apologetic gaze Lysandra’s way.

“…smell?” she questioned.

“Not smell! Just… part of your scent… is what I mean,” Aedia rectified, clearing her throat and tapping her hands nervously on the table’s edge. _Gods, Gavriel is rubbing off on me already for fuck’s sake._

Rowan then took up the reigns of the conversation, steering it back to normalcy as he explained what Aedia and Gavriel actually meant. Lysandra eventually calmed herself, nodding hysterically as Aelin reassured the slightly older woman that she didn’t mind. _Just another victim of this blasted war,_ Aedia mused after hearing Lysandra’s tale. How many children were orphaned or abandoned and rejected because of one man’s tyranny?

Snapping out of her dark meditations, the general nodded as her queen instructed her to escort Lysandra out, lunch left forgotten on the table after her shock. The ground level of the warehouse was as dusty as earlier that morning, and outside was just as wet. “You won’t get too wet in the rain?” Aedia asked gently, craning her neck to peer out the window around the crates stacked in front of it, “It’s chucking it down out there.”

Lysandra giggled softly, “No that’s fine – you can be my knight in shining armour another time.”

“Not a knight,” Aedia grumbled as she unbolted the front door. Before she opened it however, she turned to the younger woman, pursing her lips as she wondered whether to say what she wanted to or not. Lysandra’s questioning gaze was enough to plunge the general into action, “I just want to say it really doesn’t matter. Don’t let anyone else’s perceptions of you define who you are.”

“Are you saying this to get on my good side?” she replied sarcastically, an eyebrows raised as she stared up into Aedia’s face.

“Well, that would be hard considering I think we both already like each other.” Her eyebrows was still raised. “As friends,” the general clarified, a light blush creeping onto her cheeks. Lysandra laughed, waving her off still. “No really, I like you for who you are, Lysandra, whatever form you take, whatever you look like, you’ll be you still. And I like you.”

A rather lame way to finish, but it did the job, Aedia supposed.

Lysandra, however, scoffed, “You hardly know me.”

“Do I?”

The younger woman froze at Aedia’s boldness.

“You’re brave – you helped Aelin get me out of that accursed dungeon, you’re helping her – us – now even though you know it could all fail and that would mean your death. Your kind – you see people in need and you help them, like with Evangeline. And throughout that all, you’re selfless – you don’t care what it costs you as long as the right thing is done at the end of the day.”

Lysandra seemed on the verge of tears.

“But I don’t want you to feel better about yourself because I told you to. I want you to feel better about yourself because you value yourself and because you know that only you can decide your self-worth – your worth generally. I don’t know exactly what you have been through. But I understand what it is like to have your body taken from you, for it to be used as a conduit for someone else’s desires. I haven’t been through what you’ve been through. But I understand.”

The young woman nodded, turning away slightly to wipe the tears off her face in private. “Thank you, that means a lot. And I shall certainly take what you have said under consideration.” A smile passed between them. “How are you by the way? I know this whole thing with your- with Gavriel, must be confusing. I didn’t know my father either – don’t know how on earth you’re handling it all.”

“It is what it is I supposed,” Aedia replied noncommittedly. But that didn’t last long under Lysandra’s hard stare. Huffing a laugh, the general continued under pressure, “He’s a decent male. I suppose I can’t fault him for much. But there have been things left unsaid between us so far, and I know at some point it will all come crashing down on us, but, for now we have more important things to concern ourselves with.”

“Well, I will be here when that does happen, if you need me,” Lysandra offered.

Aedia swallowed tightly, “Thank you.” And then came the hug – which she wasn’t expecting at all. But the older woman gripped on tightly, burying her face briefly into the junction between Lysandra’s shoulder and neck. Stepping apart, they nodded at one another; Aedia finally opened the door and waved goodbye as Lysandra stepped into her carriage and rode off through the mucky streets of the city.

The general waited there for a moment, watching the rain fall, the occasional child dart through the drizzle. The puddles had grown since that morning, the fog hanging lower now in the early afternoon. Sighing, Aedia closed the door. Perhaps one day, she’d be able to step outside of the box she was trapped in.

“There you are,” came from behind her. She launched up into the air with a wild shriek. Once her feet met solid ground again, she turned a fierce glare onto the male.

“Stop. Doing. That.” Aedia groaned, shaking her hands at Gavriel’s amused face. “You’re absolutely dreadful.”

“The least you deserve, I think, after the debacle in the kitchen,” he countered easily, folding his arms and staring her down in his challenge. Shrugging, Aedia supposed that was fair enough as she fell into step beside him. “Stretching? On the roof? I know you wanted to exercise more with Rowan, so perhaps that would settle you without causing too much strain?”

Aedia huffed another laugh at the thoughtful offer. _He really does make it hard to do anything but like him, ugh,_ she thought to herself as her foot found the first step on the staircase. “Okay,” she accepted softly, smiling warmly at the older male as they ascended.

* * *

Gavriel had finished washing up in the kitchen, Aelin and Rowan having retreated to their room moments ago, when he wondered what had become of his daughter. What a thrill he got every time he thought that word – never said of course. He didn’t think Aedia would appreciate that just yet, if ever. Nonetheless, he hoped the novelty would never get old. It was hard for fae to have children and he had never expected to be gifted with the honour. Especially not after Aedia’s mother had died. She had been the only one for him.

A bold statement, he knew, to make when one was practically immortal. But it was one he could assert with a reasonable amount of confidence; Aedia’s mother was like no other. Aedia of course, was very similar; a confident woman who drove him up all the wall almost every day with her number of witty comments. Although Aelin also shared that quality to some extent, it was nowhere near as exuberant as Aedia’s profundity for the habit.

Gavriel chuckled at the thought, drying his hands on the towel hanging over the countertop to his right before walking out of the kitchen. Sighing, he knew that the topic of Aedia’s mother was one that had been left unspoken. He filled with dread at the thought of what his daughter had gone to when she had lost her mother, what hell that must have been for her as a young child. He couldn’t imagine it; his life had been one of comfort and security for as long as he could remember. Aedia’s was the exact opposite, and he tried to remember that as well as he could whenever he was with her.

She needed help. He could see that. Despite all her efforts to hide it, Gavriel could see Aedia’s suffering. The mask she wore would not hold forever. What mattered was that Gavriel would be there whenever it did fall away. In whatever way his daughter needed.

He found himself at the top of the stairs, staring down at the backlit figure of Aedia at the door, staring out into the rainy afternoon. The warrior’s shoulders slumped, taking in how small and young his daughter looked as she got caught up in the rain. Despite knowing he shouldn’t, Gavriel couldn’t help but wonder what his life- _their lives_ , would be like if she had grown up with him. But he shut those thoughts down as he descended the stairs, knowing that his daughter hadn’t forgiven him yet, knowing that there was still a very long way to go between them (if he was ever fortunate enough to have the chance to make amends that was) before they were in any way, shape or form, resembling a family.

But that was all up to her. He would take what he got for now.

So when banter flowed easily between them and when his offer was easily accepted – with a warm, beaming smile to boot! – he couldn’t help but let his heart soar with happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A cheeky little Gavriel POV for you at the end there as a treat from me for waiting so long 😉
> 
> I hope things are clearer now concerning where everyone stands with one another also! I really enjoyed writing the banter in this chapter ahah 😋 Fingers cross you guys feel like I'm getting the dynamics/relationships right 😗
> 
> I really hope you all enjoyed! 🥰


	9. play the serpent

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst? I guess? That's what you're in for?

The silence in the carriage was unbearable – when Aedia had wished for it all those times, _this_ was not what she had meant. Outside, life carried on, the street they were effectively parked on roaring as people rushed by on foot and in their own carriages. Aedia flicked her eyes over the two – very stressed and worried – fae males on the other side of the carriage, daring to break her watch on the front of the Assassin’s Keep. Gavriel, of course, had taken up his trademark fidgeting. Rowan, on the other hand, seemed as if he had turned into a statue, he was forcing himself to be so still.

“Would you both stop worrying?” Aedia commanded weakly. She knew they wouldn’t listen to her – not out of any lack of respect, but purely because they were already too far gone. It had been more than ten minutes, the general was sure. Another few, and Aedia would be right where the males were – in an utter state of diabolical horror.

Rowan abruptly retorted, “who says I’m worried?” snapping Aedia from her sentry once more. Running a pitying glance over him again, she merely rose an eyebrow in his direction. The older male’s pine green eyes blazed with ire, meeting her gaze and holding it there in challenge. She refused to back down – _he_ was the one being ridiculously stubborn.

“Stop it, the both of you,” Gavriel murmured, still picking at his nails, not even meeting their eyes as they snapped their attention towards him. He was slumped into the corner of the carriage, eyes half-lidded and glazed, mouth drawn down in a tight grimace. Noticing the sloppiness of his clothes – jacket hanging slightly more off of one shoulder than the other, and his cravat loose to splay itself across his chest – Aedia was truly struck by his distress. Where Rowan hid everything away, Gavriel was doing the exact opposite; the male had no qualm about showing his emotions and processing them carefully it seemed. Which in turn forced Aedia to worry about whatever weaponised therapeutic discussions he had in store for her down the line.

 _Dear gods, help me,_ the general lamented as she once more fixed her gold-blue eyes on the door of the keep. Sighing, the young woman said aloud, more to herself than anyone else, “Just have to trust her, she’ll come soon.”

Rowan growled in hot retort, “It’s not Aelin whom I do not trust. It’s that wretch of a male – and she’s all alone with him!” That was the closest he had come to letting his façade slip, letting the true extent of his anger and fear show.

“Well, don’t worry about that, cousin – if anything happens to her, you won’t be the only one who will want to be having words with that git.”

There was silence for a moment. Then Aedia felt the gazes fixed upon her. She turned to see both Gavriel and Rowan staring at her, their faces painted with pure male confusion. “What did you just call me?” Rowan eventually asked, face still pinched with anxiety from this whole escapade.

Aedia blinked a couple of times, trying to figure out what she had said that was so out of the blue to cause _this_ reaction. Really, these two males liked to take her for a wild ride half the time- scratch that. All of the time. Every turn they rode together, always another thing she had to explain to them. The only thing she could be thankful for was that they were equally riled up by her antics, she was sure. “…cousin? I called you cousin?”

They remained gawking at her, bewilderment all she could see in the depths of their eyes.

“Well,” Aedia drawled, leaning back to feign nonchalance under their scrutiny, “you two are married so, you are part of my family Rowan as my cousin? I don’t see what’s so hard to understand. Besides, it fits- suits? I don’t know.”

Gavriel merely hummed, going back to picking at his fingers with a slight smile on his face. Although, Aedia swore there was something melancholy about it. Perhaps she had said something to cause him distress? She wasn’t left to ponder for long however, as Rowan struck up conversation with her once more. Clearly he appreciated the distraction just as much as she did. “First of all,” he began, shifting forward in his seat so as to be closer to her across the carriage, “Aelin and I are only mated. Not married.” His tone was harsh, those pine green eyes slanted grey like steel his determination was so strong. Aedia felt she was in for a big lecture. There had been quite a few occasions where she had pushed Rowan’s buttons just enough to set off an entire lesson on just what, exactly, she had done and how she could go about rectifying it. The general thought this would be no different. “And fine, call me that – but!” He raised a finger in warning, surprising the young woman even more with the turn of events. “If you ever meet Fenrys, _don’t even think_ about saying it in front of him. He’d have a field day.” Rowan grumbled at last, settling back into his seat properly.

Aedia merely laughed softly and turned back to the keep’s entrance to exclaim, “Oh, here she comes!” And it was true this time – though Aedia would never admit to the fright of her life that was a few moments ago, when a blond boy had exited the keep and in her excitement she mistook him for her cousin. The males certainly hadn’t appreciated that. So Aedia watched closely, regarding her cousin as she walked up to the carriage, trying to figure out if there was anything wrong, if that bastard had done something to Aelin. Everything, however, appeared to be fine.

Until Aelin entered the carriage that was.

The general froze. Her body went rigid as her young cousin sat down and she saw that something was wrong. Aelin merely sat there, staring ahead blankly, though with a warm smile. All Aedia could do was take note of that. All she could hear was the thundering pound of her heart in her ears as the carriage jolted forward. The young woman breathed shallowly; it felt as if Aelin had somehow been transformed into a porcelain doll, and that any movement too abrupt would shatter her into a thousand pieces.

Gavriel reached out to take the young queen’s shoulder. “Don’t,” Aedia reprimanded as she snatched his hand from the air and latched onto it with her own. She squeezed his hand tightly, grasping it in both. He gave her a squeeze back. Reassurance. What she needed.

“Fireheart…?” Rowan whispered, voice hoarse as he tried to catch her attention with his gaze. But she just stared through him, her eyes empty.

“Just don’t,” Aedia blurted out again, “you must leave her be.”

Rowan shot Aedia a look at that, but didn’t argue further. He trained his eyes on his mate, not moving an inch as he tried to catch Aelin’s attention once more.

“Trust me, Rowan, she’ll be fine. I promise.”

Aedia was left ignored.

And so they road in silence. The carriage jostled them along the busy streets of Rifthold. Which eventually became more and more sparsely populated. Soon enough, they were in the slums. Gavriel still kept his hand locked between Aedia’s. The general ignored the slight tremors that ran through it every now and again. She ignored everything but her own breathing, trying to maintain a calm front so it didn’t all go to hell. Her promise had sounded weak, but what she had said was truth. _It will be alright, remember Aedia,_ she chanted to herself internally as the carriage made the last stretch towards the apartment.

As soon as it stopped, Aelin quietly rose and stepped down out of the wooden contraption. With Rowan right behind her, the young queen elegantly made her way to the front door. It appeared as if she knew where she was going whilst still having no clue where she was. Hence Rowan scrambling to get to the door and open it before Aelin collided into it. Soon enough they had reached the top of the staircase. Aelin was still dazed and wandering. Rowan remained followingly his mate closely. And Gavriel kept his hand tightly grasped onto Aedia’s.

It was so tight, her hand had begun to ache slightly. But she didn’t mind, knowing that her grip was likely causing the same ache in her father’s hand. And that was the only reason. No other one at all… not even one such as Aedia needing to have something to hold onto. Nor could she acknowledge that he was also practically guiding her further into the apartment, as he had done since they had left the carriage. The duo paused for a moment in the front room, watching Rowan follow Aelin to their bedroom.

Swallowing tightly, Aedia finally let go of Gavriel’s hand and stood waiting outside their door, the older male just behind her, both of them equally intruding on the conversation taking place behind the closed door. As the general practically pressed her ear against the wooden barrier, she caught Aelin saying, “…don’t worry, it’s a fake, I’m fine Rowan.”

“Oh thank fuck it worked!” Aedia cheered, forgetting momentarily what she was doing.

Gavriel, meanwhile, let out a choked “what” just as the door violently swung open to reveal a glaring Rowan. “You’re eavesdropping.” He growled out, face darkened with barely restrained anger. Aedia heard, and then felt, Gavriel move behind her to draw the general to his chest in a protective gesture. But Aedia didn’t take kindly to the subtle suggestion to back down from the challenge.

“Oh? Because you’re so unfamiliar with the prospect?” she practically purred out, struggling against Gavriel’s grip. The two glared at one another, pine green meeting blue-gold. So Aedia decided to poke the bear (hawk?) further however, and crooned, “Come on big boy, don’t be shy.”

The next thing Aedia knew was that all she saw was Gavriel’s back as a fierce roar shook the whole apartment. The older fae’s hands clutched Aedia tightly as he placated his friend with a gentle reminder, “Rowan, you have a mate to see to.” Aedia peered out from behind the golden male’s back, watching Rowan slowly back down with an aggravated rumble. He growled once more, low and rough in his throat, before retreating back into the room. Aedia may or may not have stuck her tongue out at him once the door was closed.

Gavriel simply sighed and dragged his belligerent daughter down the hallway, up the metal stairs and out onto the terrace. “Why are we up here?” Aedia questioned as she removed her cloak, revealing the pale green and silver gossamer dress she had worn to that cursed lunch. She felt the warm rays of the late afternoon sun hit her arms as she sat down on the edge of the terrace, feet dangling over the sheer drop below. The sky was painted in a dusty pink, blazing with heat and gold over the city. From what she could see of the harbour, there were still men taking in later arrivals of the day and early birds for the next. A slight breeze snatched her hair away from where it had hung over her shoulders, to flow gently behind her as she drew one of her knees up to her chest to rest her head on.

“Because they need space,” Gavriel provided as he sat down next to her. The general noted that he had also removed his outer coat and dress jacket, leaving him with only his white linen shirt on, the dark cravat now being run through his fingers as he fidgeted in the late afternoon light. He almost seemed to blend in with the sky, between his gold hair and eyes and deeply tanned skin. The male met her gaze, catching Aedia by surprise, before saying, “You shouldn’t push him like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Aedia replied immediately in a small voice. She didn’t know what else to say. The thought of letting Gavriel down seemed so abhorrent it scared her. She hadn’t known that he had somehow endeared himself that much, that she cared enough about what he thought that it actually mattered that much to the welfare of her own heart.

Sighing yet again, he placed a hand on her shoulder and consoled, “it’s alright, no serious harm done.” The moment passed slowly, his warm calloused hand feeling a brand as she kept their eyes locked, those golden pools drowning her with affection once again. “Although I’m not sure it is me who you should be apologising to,” Gavriel countered, gently nudging her shoulder as he shifted to look at the sunset. Aedia turned too, resting her head down on her knee once more, tracking the flight paths of the birds as they swooped over the slums, hunting what must be various rodents in the rickety alleyways of the city. Until of course, Gavriel gently queried, his tone lacking any hint of scolding, “So you knew our queen’s plan all along, huh?”

Aedia flashed a cheeky smile his way, “yeah… it was my ring.”

The older male frowned, concern immediately evident on his face as he connected the dots. He knew what those rings did, what it made of the humans who wore them. And Aedia was not afraid to admit that she too had been scared shitless when she had been told the true extent of their purpose. Not to mention she was beyond thankful that she had narrowly missed such a fate. Gavriel opened his mouth to question her further it seemed, but nothing came out.

“It’s a fake,” Aedia provided at his troubled silence, “I had been offered a real one by the king years ago, but thanks to my fae heritage, noticed there was something wrong with it. So I had the one that Aelin was wearing when she entered the carriage made to cover for the fact that I had gotten rid of the original. I was never in any danger of being possessed by one of the Valg, I promise; the king never seemed to notice the one I wore was a fake.”

Gavriel merely exhaled and nodded, turning back to the sunset as he (probably) turned over what his daughter had just told him. And Aedia let him stew for a moment or two, before she was brave enough to say what was really on her mind. “About what I said to Rowan…” she began hesitantly, her father turning to her in bewilderment. Biting her lip, the general charged forward without another moment’s hesitation, “I’m sorry I called him family when… when we aren’t quite there yet, it was cruel of me and I shouldn’t have. But I can’t-”

“Aedia,” Gavriel interrupted, his tone slightly coloured with amusement, “You don’t have to justify yourself to me. Or explain anything either. How you feel is how you feel.” He took a breath, turning once more to the sun. “If the day ever arrives where you wish to have me as your family, as your father, then I will be more than honoured to accept such a title. And if it doesn’t,” he spoke even softer now, turning back to her, “I won’t mind, as long as you are safe and content.”

Aedia didn’t know how to say how she felt. There was a lump in her throat, the words so desperately clawing their way up from the pit of dread in her stomach. But she couldn’t let them out. It wasn’t time. How could she explain that she did think of him as family but not at the same time? _Aedia_ could hardly rationalise the thoughts and feelings of her own heart – she couldn’t explain them to this male! It was obvious that she mattered to him, that he cared for her and would do all he could to make her safe. But how does she feel? She knew she wanted to know him better, to hear about her mother from someone who _loved_ her; not to mention learn from him, perhaps travel with him and do things together. She wanted all that, whatever a person would call it – that was what she wanted. Yet how could she want that when he also was the reason her mother had died? When he was the reason that Aedia had been practically abandoned and left to fend for herself as child? The reason why she went through all that she had, why she carried the hurt that she did?

 _You have bigger things to concern yourself with,_ Aedia chided herself as she blinked back tears, _stop being so selfish. You can deal with this later; the world won’t stop simply because you ask it to._

So she swallowed her feelings. Locked them down tight. Let them simmer away in the pool of her gut. And merely said “Okay,” before turning back to watch the sun sink slowly past the horizon with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm honestly just trying to write as much before I go to uni ahah so if you want to pace out the updates so you can read them over a longer period of time, then go for it and I also highly recommend that because after 11th Jan, I have no clue when I'll be able to update regularly again. #UniSucks
> 
> Also Rowan and Aedia have the same energy, fight me if you disagree. 😈


	10. hopeless wanderer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by my long walks that I take because of lockdown, Gavriel and Aedia take a long walk and of course, have another discussion.
> 
> Honestly very fluffy really with just a hint of angst???

Everything felt different. The air seemed lighter. And perhaps that was just because the storm that had been ominously persisting over the wretched city for the past few days. But Aedia was damn sure the sudden ease that had crept into the young queen’s small apartment was all because one of the two bastards in the Ashryver’s lives was dead.

Arboynn Hamel was dead.

The man who had taken away Aedia’s baby cousin, her sister in all but name, was burning in Hellas’ realm without a doubt. That knowledge had sparked a certain vigour in their tiny household: Aelin seemed lighter, a newfound bounce in her step; Rowan was unquestionably relieved that his mate no longer had such a dark shadow irrevocably looming over her shoulder; and Gavriel, he wasn’t much changed… still his usual quiet self but something was assuredly sunnier in him. As if his golden appearance had become the real thing almost.

Aedia noted this all quietly, with an internal frenzy of glee admittedly, but quietly nonetheless. She was over the moon with it all. Saying she was beyond excited would be an understatement. This was the happiest she had been since the Fall of Orynth. Since Aelin’s supposed death. And perhaps it was selfish of Aedia to think so, but the joy she experienced in that moment made it feel as if all the anguish that had come before was indisputably worthwhile.

The day it had happened, the four of them (with Lysandra and little Evangeline in tow as well) had found a secluded, far off the beaten track restaurant wherein they had treated themselves to a sumptuous dinner. Well, at least, Aelin had treated them to it. Typical Aelin style; luxurious and with a hint of swagger. Not that there was much swagger, nor luxury, to have in a restaurant in some dark corner of the city. But it had appeared to satisfy Aelin well enough, so everyone was happy.

Aedia chuckled to herself as she remembered the stray hog that had interrupted their lovely walk home afterwards by almost charging into the little Evangeline. The young warrior bit her lip as she finished washing up the dishes from their brunch, attempting to stifle the laughter she could bubbling away in her gut. “What has you laughing so much?” Gavriel huffed in amusement as he entered the apartment kitchen. Aedia turned and whatever attempts she had made to prevent a full bout of laughter from escaping her lips died as she saw her father’s massive grin and sparkling eyes.

In between gasping breaths and wheezy laughs, Aedia managed to get out, “that pig last night!”

“Now, Aedia,” the warrior sighed, but not without amusement painting his features, “I understand the manager of that restaurant was a complete slimeball, but there’s no need to call him names-” Aedia threw the dishcloth at him and hit him square in the face. So the five hundred year old warrior responded appropriately: he tackled her.

“No!” she howled, laughing harder as Gavriel kept her up in the air over his shoulder, “the actual pig that barged through us when we were walking home!” With a few smacks on his broad back, Gavriel finally let her down back to the ground. A sheepish smile was plastered on his face as she gave him another well-deserved smack on the arm. “I don’t think you should be tackling your daughter,” the general admonished.

“Hm, I don’t think you should be throwing dishcloths at your father,” he countered back just as quickly, one golden eyebrow raised. Aedia simply shrugged with one of her classic shit eating grins, picked up said dishcloth from the floor and carried on drying the dishes. Somehow, the light atmosphere that had been created recently also had seeped into her relationship with Gavriel; over the course of the past day, whatever amicable, yet distant relationship they had had suddenly blossomed into an-almost-fully-formed-father-daughter-type-relationship-thing. If she had to put a name to it that was. Their once before simple and hesitant banter had transformed rapidly into random bursts of a semi-chaotic horseplay and inside jokes. It would be terrifying if Aedia didn’t love it all so much.

“I actually came to tell you that I have gained permission for Her Majesty to let you out of the apartment.” Gavriel explained, snapping Aedia out of her own self-examination. He seemed pretty smug with himself as he said it, Aedia thought and rolled her eyes at his phrasing.

“You make me sound like the family dog.” Gavriel chuckled deeply, much to Aedia’s chagrin.

Ignoring her, he asked, “So would you like to leave and see the outside world, or stay inside forever?”

“Well, when you put it like that,” Aedia grumbled. Gavriel only gave her a smile and told her he was getting their coats, far too used to her charms to be deceived by them. Drying off her hands, she walked out to the living area and thanked her father as she took her coat from him.

As the general was putting on her boots, Aelin emerged from her room with Rowan close behind. Without looking, Aedia knew her cousin was standing before the fireplace with her arms crossed as she said, “You must be careful and don’t stay out too late either, right?”

“Yes, mum,” Aedia sighed as she straightened up.

All she received in return was a withering look.

Sticking her tongue out and giving the displeased queen a wink, Aedia swiftly gripped onto Gavriel’s arm and herded him out the door. They clambered down the stairs in silence, pretending to not hear the further instructions given to them from inside the apartment. Aedia threw a wave over her shoulder as the two exited out onto the street, shutting the door on her cousin’s voice. “You’re going to have an earful when you get back.”

“I know,” Aedia laughed, drawing up her hood, even though it wasn’t raining, “but it was worth it! I’m the only one who’s allowed to her annoy her like that after all – if it weren’t for me, she would have the world’s biggest ego. I’m just doing my civic duty.”

Gavriel merely rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets after drawing up his hood himself. More or less following his lead, Aedia got lost in the twisting and winding streets and alleys they found themselves ambling down and through and over. Silence, as always, met her as if it were her greatest friend. The ground was still soft and squelchy beneath their feet as they trod along the alleyways, the sound breaking the peace of their journey ever so softly. Shadows slanted harshly in between the buildings of thatch and wattle. Golden light broke through here and there, casting what it could catch of the duo’s hair into molten gold mirrors. Very little occurred around them as they kept their companionable calm. Few street urchins inhabited this area of the city, it appeared. They were far from the hollering of the markets. Far from the hecticness of the ports and the factories along the river. It certainly was not what Aedia would have preferred – woods and forests were always the best to get lost in. But it was better than remaining in that tiny apartment any longer, better than staring at the same four walls of her bedroom, or the same flat and bland view of either the city or the port. So she accepted it for now and carried on.

It was only when the general loosed a breath and tipped her head back, pausing for a moment in the shaft of sunlight that had managed to break through the small gap between two buildings, that Gavriel spoke. “Feeling better?” he softly asked.

Aedia hummed a yes in response, soaking up the warmth of the winter sun.

“I can’t imagine how crazy you must be going having essentially been inside all the time. If it were me-”

“You’d be clawing at the curtains? Ripping up the carpet, maybe?” Aedia finished for him, positive mischief burning away in the gold of her eyes. The fae male simply shook his head and kept on walking, leaving her in her shaft of sunlight. Giving out a squawk of indignation, Aedia called, “Hey! Wait up!” and jogged to catch up with his absurdly long strides. “Alright, I’m sorry I made another kitty-cat joke, but seriously – aren’t they better than Aelin’s?”

“I suppose so,” Gavriel softly admitted, contemplating the two young girls’ jokes to one another whilst glancing up at the sky, its azure blaze burning overhead, “But then again, many would argue I’m biased – so perhaps, we should entertain Rowan as a judge when we return back to the apartment?”

Aedia considered for a moment or two, only to point out, “But he’s biased also.”

“Ah yes, that is a problem… we need a truly neutral third party in order to properly assess.”

“I’m glad you take mine and Aelin’s banter so seriously,” Aedia laughed.

“Of course! This is very serious business. Can you imagine what court would be like if we didn’t have our jesters to keep us happy?” The older male threw the teasing question over his shoulder to her, receiving another light hit and a disgruntled ‘oi!’ from his younger companion. “Ah you’re right, the one should do well enough and I do believe the Wolf of the North trying to catch her own tail will be entertainment enough.”

Aedia pouted her lip, but the laughter was festering away inside her. She very well couldn’t contain it for long and soon enough the two of them were laughing all the way down the rest of the alley way they were on. Turning the corner at the end was probably a blessing for the people residing calmly in their own houses around them. “I guess I don’t only get it from Aelin then,” the general said wiping her eyes of tears.

“No, not at all,” Gavriel mused, sounding very pleased with the fact, “At least, not your sense of humour. The pranking and whatnot you may keep to yourself and Aelin.”

Aedia scoffed, “I resent that! We’re not that bad.”

“And what exactly made you think that? Did someone tell you this nonsense? Because I can assuredly inform you that switching out all the sugar for salt in the royal kitchens when you were twelve and Aelin was seven, was not in any way shape or form, short of a complete and utter dismantling of whatever order they had in Orynth.”

Aedia sniggered again at the reminder of one of hers and Aelin’s greatest stunts. “You make it sound as if we causing havoc all the time! That was not it was like at all.”

“So what was it like?” And with that the tone of the whole conversation had changed. Gavriel asked in such a soft and hesitant way, in a way that neither of them had used in the past twenty four hours. But the young woman didn’t mind. At all. Baby steps were the best way forward after all and Aedia could admit that she was excited to tell her father about her childhood. Even though it itself as not all the amazing.

Aedia cleared her throat, shifted her hood and stuffed her hands in her pockets, before answering in a calm, but appropriately dry, tone, “It may surprise you to know that I actually was rather a good student. Aelin and I very rarely managed to get away and do something like that.” Gavriel just gave her a look. “I know! I know! Hard to imagine now, but I’m telling the truth – I swear on the Great Stag!” She put her hand on her heart to emphasise the point before carrying on, “I used to have lessons in all the basics of course – reading, writing, arithmetics, finance, diplomacy and all that boring stuff. And then I also had riding lessons and weapon classes. They knew I was never going to be some flawless princess and they knew I didn’t have abilities like Aelin. So I was treated like every other noble’s firstborn son in Terrasen was.”

“Did you have a favourite class?”

“Definitely riding,” Aedia smiled in remembrance, “Sometimes I would sneak off and ride a horse at night, or whenever I could lose the guards that were assigned to keep me too the palace grounds.”

“Seems you were not completely devoid of mischief even if you were a good student.”

“No, I suppose not,” Aedia laughed, joining Gavriel as he chuckled softly. “After riding, it was definitely archery that was my favourite. I even managed to secretly set up an archery course in the woods – that’s where I would sneak off to…” Aedia trailed off, not knowing what else to tell him, so she changed tactic. “I guess you grew up rather differently to how I did?”

Slightly surprised by the question, Gavriel blinked a few times in shock. Soon enough however, he had recovered and was telling her all about his two older brothers and his early days with a slight smile to his lips. “I suppose I was similar in trying to get away – my brothers were always close with one another, being more grown up. I liked to get away from them from time to time, avoid being the third wheel and all that.”

“Do they still live?” Aedia asked tentatively.

Gavriel nodded, slowly but firmly, “Yes, they still live and reside in our ancestral home in Wendlyn. I don’t know what else they’re up to – we don’t talk much.” At Aedia’s noise of curiosity, the older male carries on, “As the third son, I easily took to soldiering, knowing there would be no place for me on the estate. Besides, I was much more physical than them – they always liked their books, had their noses practically permanently stuck in between the pages of one.” He paused, swallowing on nothing for a moment. “And that was all well and good – they were proud of my achievements, wrote often to ask after me, liked to know I was safe and all that. But then Maeve scouted me and I ended up in the web of politics that she liked to spin – in the run of it all, it caused me to lose touch with them. They don’t much appreciate her campaigns and beliefs.”

Aedia nodded, not wanting to add fuel to the fire and somehow end up in a fight when everything was going so well. So she pushed her own grievances with the idea of her father being chained to that bitch, pushed them deep down and carried on walking.

“What about when you were in Wendlyn? Before you came to Orynth? How was your childhood there?” Gavriel asked in a stream of rushed words, somehow sensing the slight lull in the conversation and desperately trying to latch onto something new.

Except from he had made a massive oversight. An oversight which distempered Aedia even more. She didn’t know whether it was a mere forgetful misstep, or whether Gavriel was trying to probe something deeper. The topic of Aedia’s mother had come up a few times every now and again, but they had never managed to actually speak anything about it. Either because the wounds were too raw for them. Or because the general completely shut down in the face of it, afraid of the vulnerability it would cause and the wreckage that would be left in its place.

“I don’t remember much of it,” she slowly admitted, “But I do know there were sunny days, and I lived somewhere near a beach… I think I used to collect shells.” Aedia shrugged, glancing up to Gavriel’s eyes which seemed ghosted over. Perhaps he had realised what he had accidentally done – the topic was taboo. A no-go zone. So Aedia moved as far away from it as she could. “I have the feeling that Aelin only agreed to letting me out so that her and Rowan would have some space.” The general sniggered about the trials and tribulations of her very young cousin.

Gavriel gave on of his trademark sighs, huffing a silent laugh before agreeing. “I think the most likely candidates for scratching at the carpet and clawing a the curtains would be those two. Ever since that lunch we had, they’ve been desperate for alone time. Even more so than usual.”

“Well, whatever it is that’s driving them up the wall,” Aedia began to propose without actually saying what the _real_ issue between her cousin and her mate was, “Let’s hope it gets hashed out soon.”

Gavriel left that hanging in the air, not having anything to say on the matter and allowing the silence to lull back into their small bubble as they kept on walking. Aedia didn’t know what could be said next. So far, their relationship had consisted of basic conversations and banter; getting into the deeper stuff and having meaningful discussions was extremely trying – not to mention exhausting.

So the general allowed the silence to grow and grow until the duo were back where they had started; walking aimlessly between the thatched houses as the sun burned bright between cracks of the urban setting. Aedia took to observing their surroundings, but there wasn’t much to look at aside from mud and wattle walls and the cerulean sky. A raven suddenly flew into her line of vision as the general tracked the movements of a cloud. The black dart quickly drew her blue-gold eyes and she soon found herself observing a raven bringing home food to its life partner.

“Did you ever have a mate?”

It was a sudden question. A gamble and an extremely risky one at that. But somehow the pair of ravens had ripped it from her mind, wherever it had been sitting in, whatever dark depths it had resided in, to immediately fall out of her lips. She sensed Gavriel stiffen slightly, and knew that once again they were treading a fine line. Perhaps the finest of them all.

“No… I never did.” He cleared his throat and began fiddling with his hands. “Finding a mate these days is a miracle – that’s one of the many reasons why I’m so happy for Aelin and Rowan. What they have is truly special in normal circumstances, but to have that special someone for you… well, that’s priceless.”

Aedia simply nodded, all too happy to just let the subject drop.

But her father spoke up again, “There was a time when I thought your mother was perhaps the one – that’s the closest I have ever come to thinking on the matter personally.”

Aedia’s throat went dry at that. In all the almost-discussions they had had about her mother, never had Gavriel mentioned anything of that magnitude. Nothing at all had been said about what exactly had been between her father and mother. And now this tiny hint, which wasn’t so tiny when she thought about it properly, left her yearning for more. For every tiny detail. The statement left her empty and she was ready to be filled with the knowledge of it all. Yet, somehow, she couldn’t bring herself to ask.

So Aedia did what any normal, sensible would do and locked up all the yearning and sorrow she felt in a chest inside her mind, so far down in her heart that she didn’t know when it would ever resurface. She still felt the tremors however. The small shakes of emotion that would one day break through and wreak havoc on everything in its path. But that day was not today, so the general left it to be dealt with when it needed to be.

By the time that she had managed to prevent a stream of tears escaping, the young woman realised that she was almost back on the main street that lead to the apartment. Gavriel had somehow been guiding her all this time, calmly and patiently at her own pace. Not commenting on anything, just being a comfortable supporting presence. Aedia smiled at that and nearly felt the tears break through again.

Her focus was, however, diverted by a wayward – and rather spooked – horse that seemed to be making its way right for them. Gavriel’s hands were already reaching for her, no doubt about to pull her out the way. Aedia, being Aedia, obviously did the exact opposite and headed straight for the horse.

“Woah! Woah!” She called out in a low voice, throwing her hands up to get the beast to come to a dead halt, “Woah, easy there.” She said more softly this time, but still in that low and calm voice. “Easy, easy,” she kept repeating the placations as she approached the frightened animal, as she managed to reach the rains and even as she stroked calming pats down its shoulder. Glancing over to Gavriel, she saw him standing to the side of the road with a slightly pale complexion, regarding her with a weak smile.

Rushing and harsh footsteps sounded out behind her. Aedia turned her head, bringing her new friend with her, to find a disgruntled and very out of breath coachman bend down and place his hands on his knees as he panted harshly. “Thank you,” he managed to get out in between breaths. Eventually he stood up straight, swiped his running nose with his glove and said, “I’m sorry for all that – is anyone hurt?”

Aedia replied in the negative and allowed him to take the horse back after he thanked her once more. “Look at you being the hero,” Gavriel playfully commended, nudging her shoulder with his own as he returned to her side. “Was that what you learnt in the riding lessons you didn’t skip out on as a child?”

Throwing her head back in laughter, Aedia denied it all, bashful in the sight of his praise of her, “No, not at all. That you just learn from being around horses.” They fell back into step once more, knowing now that they were only about ten or fifteen minutes away from the apartment. “My horse – the one I had before I was imprisoned – was a very nervous veteran when I found him. Admittedly, I should have taken another but I couldn’t let him be a lost cause. He used to spook a lot in the early years. But soon enough he became my best friend. I think he just liked the nice barding I gave him.”

“Barding?”

“How do you know so little of horses? First not knowing what a cavalry is, and now this? It’s disgraceful!” Aedia rebuked teasingly, eyes wide in astonishment, “I’m going to have to sit you and Rowan down and go through it all, because honestly, this won’t do.”

“In our defence,” Gavriel countered, “We knew what a cavalry was – we just didn’t know that word for it. Also, not to mention, we rarely use horses and especially not in war.”

Aedia shook her head as she murmured something else along the lines of ‘disgraceful’ and ‘call yourself warriors’, before getting to the issue at hand. “Barding is the body armour that is used for a horse.”

“And you gave him some?” She nodded at his question. “Does that mean you made it or just bought it from an armourer?”

This time she was so shocked, her jaw fell open. Aedia gave him a decent glare before remedying the dire situation of her father and his lack of knowledge surrounding everything equine. “Yes, of course I did! It’s the tradition of the Iverni for each warrior who has passed their trials to make their own armour and any armourer or weaponry they may need for their steed or themselves.”

“Impressive.”

Smiling again at his praise, Aedia replied with a light blush, “Thank you.” She cleared her throat and focused on the road ahead of them. Wondering aloud, she thought, “I wonder where it all is now… They took it all from me when I was captured. I bet you they have melted it down or let it rust just out of spite.” The last remark was a bit bitter, but it was the truth. And if there was anything Aedia had learnt recently, it was that she could be honest around her father more than she could be around anyone else.

“Maybe when we take the palace, you’ll find it,” Gavriel suggested, “Or maybe you won’t, but I have no doubt that no matter what happens, you will be more than able to make more. Maybe even make better armour.”

Aedia hummed in contemplation, imagining perhaps being able to fashion a chariot like she had always dreamed of. “That would be nice,” she commented, “to have everything all sparkly and new again.” She gasped dramatically, turning to Gavriel, “I could even do new designs! Oh, that would be so fun!” His smile in response to her sudden happiness was so wide it appeared almost to break in half. She said as much to him.

He simply grabbed her by the shoulders and ruffled her hair.

* * *

Having returned home a few hours ago, Gavriel and the others had all had a nice dinner together and taken to snuggling up together in the living area afterwards. The older male noted that Rowan and Aelin seemed more comfortable after their alone time, the tension that was caught up between them practically non-existent now. They sat on the floor near the fire, a large crocheted blanket draped over them as Aelin lay back in her mate’s arms. Gavriel meanwhile was practically pinned to the couch as his daughter slept on him. He may need the loo but who was going to tell her?

Certainly not him.

She had fallen asleep not but five minutes ago. It had been subtle and slow, the drawing of her to that inky realm, but he had known the moment she had sunk true and deep. A heaviness had taken to her limbs that had not been there before. And where she had once been slightly leaning near his arm, mostly supported by the couch, her head had suddenly plopped down on his shoulder with a soft thud. He was admittedly surprised at first, but then a burning warmth had shot through him, one that meant he couldn’t help but be selfish and kept her there. Something in him eased as he watched her face, so peaceful in slumber, lie there peacefully on him.

Unfortunately though, the time had come. “I’m going to take Aedia to bed,” he whispered lowly to the other two in the room.

Only Rowan responded, saying with a nod and a smile, “I’ll probably be close behind with Aelin.” The young queen gave a grunt of disapproval at the comment.

Gavriel just snorted softly at their antics before turning his attention back to the task at hand. First of all, he gently lifted his daughter’s head from his shoulder with his opposite hand. Somehow, he had managed not to wake her, so he carried swiftly on to the next step: picking her up. Wincing slightly, the older male hooked his right hand under her knees as his left still cradled her head. Once they were secured, he bent down and hoisted her up as swiftly as he could. He checked to make sure she hadn’t woken up before moving towards the hallway.

The golden male have a nod as a ways of saying ‘goodnight’ to his age old friend before exiting the living area. Avoiding the creaky floorboard right in the middle of the hallway, Gavriel side stepped towards Aedia’s bedroom door and swung it open, grimacing somewhat at the quiet thud it made when it met the wall on the other side. He didn’t pause however as he moved further into the room. As he approached the small bed, he shifted his hold on Aedia so that only one arm cradled her against his chest in order to lift up the duvet and quilt and deliver her safely in between the sheets. He drew up the cover, tucking it tightly over her shoulders to then notice that the curtains were still open. Awkwardly leaning over Aedia, Gavriel rested a palm on the windowsill as he drew them closed, shutting out the weak moonlight that streamed in from behind the clouds that sparsely dotted the sky.

Losing a breath, he crouched down in front of her, only to watch her again. She seemed so quiet and peaceful… so small, all wrapped up like that. He knew he shouldn’t but he could not resist the urge as he ran a hand through her loose hair and pressed a light kiss to her forehead. Running his broad hand though he blond hair once more, he turned to leave.

But was caught by a small hand in his.

Turning back round, the old fae’s wide, golden eyes caught at the blue-gold ones staring up at him from beneath the covers. “Thank you for today,” Aedia whispered, giving his hand a squeeze as if to prove her sincerity, “I really enjoyed it.”

That warmth blazed through Gavriel again at the hushed confession, the revelation leaving him absolutely beyond the mood happy. “I did too,” he admitted back just as lovingly.

Aedia nodded, withdrawing her hand slowly after giving it another affectionate squeeze, “Goodnight.”

He beamed down at her, “Goodnight, Aedia. Sleep well.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I hope you're well! I am honestly so sorry that it has been so long 😭 I intended to actually finish this before going back to uni but then another lockdown was announced and I had left all my stuff in my uni apartment... so I had to haul arse up to the north of the country and move out and bring everything back home 🙃 Then by the time I got home I was so knackered I couldn't think of anything to do but sleeping before uni started (which was literally three days after I got home)
> 
> So here is a rather long chapter that I managed to finally get round to writing - I hope you enjoy and I hope that it has been worth the wait!!!
> 
> There's only 5 chapters left before I finish this now 😱 So unless I decide to add more, we're essentially entering the final third of the story now!
> 
> As always, let me know what you think!! Have a nice day 🥰


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